Ahhhhhh! Information overload! Okay...umm..crap where to start.
Why justifying. I dunno...I mean I am unhappy. Been punched to many times. At the same time I am scared to lose my children. I saw them yesterday and she did the whole "see I have changed and I can make your wildest dreams come true and I won't be the ..... I was to you anymore." Now one thing my Mother was and held was the World Heavyweight Intercontinental Championship Belt of Bullshitting. She was great at it...hence I have a great BS detector...let me tell you she was slinging some yellow cake weapons grade highly enriched bullshitium. It's been since Tuesday...no...not happened over night. In fact it isn't going to happen. If...IF and that is a BIG IF it did I still don't want to come back because IMHO the threads of the tapestry of faith are weaving a certain way and I go one way she goes another but parallel...not crossed over. My path is leading me elsewhere. I am strangely okay with this.
I wanted to tell her "I am leaving because of all your bullshit" after December once finances and all that was done but right before...like days before I was thinking "is it becaus of that or my procrastination?" I thought okay...after December because don't want to ruin Xmas and Yule forever....then crap not January...don't want to ruin New Years. Then...crap...not Feb...don't want to ruin Valentines Day....then crap not March...leads too much into April which is both of our birthdays and my Mother In Law's. And it hit me..."if I wait this isn't going to happen". So I called her up...told her "they cell phone is paid and it was X amount" which I knew she was going to blow up and demand shit. Didin't think she'd go to weapons hot but I was prepared for it...had a place to stay at a friends house just in case on standby. She shot the ultimatium out and I said "no". She clairfied with what she ment by legal action and I stood firm. I went home...I knew one of two things were going to happen...both cases I win. Either she'd drop it...I get more time to put shit in place or the more likely with how stubborn she'd tell me to leave thinking I am hopeless, helpless and my balls were still in her purse. Little did she know I am not hopeless and I liberated them the day my Mother died and been peeing standing up for a while now
Anyhow I need to reread pretty much everything from my respons to Lady Acoma on later. You all are so very helpful and supportive. Even when you challange me on something you get me to think and not just with that piece of reptilian pseudo flesh I use most of the time as a brain.
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