PDA

View Full Version : My passport


Pigs in Space
10-24-2010, 09:35 PM
My passport has a thick page in the middle of it in which the microchip thingy lives.

On one side it states "Do not stamp this page".

On the other side it states "Ne Pas Apposer De Tampons Sur Cette Page".

Seriously... what is wrong with the French?

;)

Ascarel
10-25-2010, 11:31 AM
Good one. :D

But really, the joke only hinges on a boring (and typical) etymological opacity: looking at one of the definitive French dictionary we got nowadays (16 volumes), tampon has 40+ meanings divided into 4 or 5 broad categories, one having to do with printing, and one other having to do with absorbent material. English has only borrowed the latter.

Btw, the tampon is originally the device with a handle that you hold in your hand to stamp ink on a paper, but by extension it also refers to the imprint itself. The same thing happened in English with stamp actually (being both the instrument and the mark).

doc
10-25-2010, 12:06 PM
Tampion n A plug or cover for the muzzle of a cannon or gun to keep out dust and moisture. Of course we called it a muzzle plug

The Winslow
10-25-2010, 12:10 PM
If you want more of that cheap humor, you can look into the word for "shower".

shiningbrow
10-25-2010, 12:13 PM
Tamponer le nez means to hold up a cloth to one's nose to avert bad smells. I learned that from Zazie dan le metro. Tampon is a "false friend," a word that looks similar in English but has a vastly different set of meanings in French.

Ascarel
10-25-2010, 01:24 PM
Tamponer le nez means to hold up a cloth to one's nose to avert bad smells. I learned that from Zazie dan le metro.

Never heard nor seen this in my life. That must not be part of my dialect.

Tampon is a "false friend," a word that looks similar in English but has a vastly different set of meanings in French.

Actually, it's not. This particular meaning of tampon -- I see only one in the Webser -- is also quite French.

shiningbrow
10-25-2010, 03:05 PM
"Gabriel extirpa de sa manche une pochette de soie couleur mauve et s'en tamponna le tarin.

----Qu'est-ce qui pue comme ša? dit une bonne femme Ó haute voix."

In this case, "nez" is replaced by the slang/argot, "tarin." It's on the first page of the novel. I worked hard with this book, because my French is not so great (obtained from about 3 years of coursework, speaking, and doing research at archives in France, but I'm still in the parle comme une vache espa˝ol department).

The Winslow
10-25-2010, 04:46 PM
It's not a stock phrase, though. The verb is used here to convey the action, which is of the guy giving his nose little strokes with the cloth, as if he was stamping his nose repeatedly. Not just holding it against his nose.

I haven't read that book, but I imagine this Gabriel fellow must be kinda foppish and is agitating a perfumed cloth in front of his nose. Heck, maybe it's that pochette mauve that exudes the smell that woman complains about. :)

Lady Fury
10-25-2010, 05:34 PM
This thread is amusing. :win:

Ascarel
10-25-2010, 06:09 PM
It's not a stock phrase, though. The verb is used here to convey the action, which is of the guy giving his nose little strokes with the cloth, as if he was stamping his nose repeatedly. Not just holding it against his nose

I figured that was the case. This meaning of tamponner fits with my intuition more, although the word does remain rare this side of the Atlantic, including literature (at least in the corpus of data I have access to).

alternate identity
11-02-2010, 05:42 AM
What do they do to you if you give your passport fifteen seconds in the microwave?

AI

nerfherder
11-02-2010, 06:18 AM
What do they do to you if you give your passport fifteen seconds in the microwave?

AI

If you're an alien entering the US, I guess they'd give you even more shit than normal.

My trip to Gencon 2008 went something like this:

US Security Official in Schipol, Amsterdam: "Why are you shaking?"
Me: "Because I've been up since 4am, haven't eaten for 6 hours, and feel dehydrated after the flight from the UK."
Security: "What's the real reason why you're shaking."
Me: "Er... what I just said..."

He then went off for a couple of minutes, came back, and let me through.

US Security Official in US airport I landed at: "Why are you travelling to Indianapolis?"
Me: "Vacation"
Security: "Nobody goes to Indianapolis on vacation. Why are you really going there...?"
Me: "Er, there's this thing called Gencon..."

She let me through, too.

I've had less difficulty getting into Eastern bloc countries!

The Winslow
11-02-2010, 06:37 AM
Reported by David Morgan-Mar (http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/2700.html):
A few weeks ago a read an article in a newspaper travel section about the "10 Scariest Travel Experiences in the World". The list included such fun things as:
Finding yourself in a bad neighbourhood of Bogota, Colombia.
Travelling through war zones in various parts of central Africa.
Taking a bus down the "Death Road (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yungas_Road)" in the Bolivian Andes - a road so insanely narrow, precipitous, and dangerous that hundreds of travellers along it plummet to their deaths every year.
Number 3 on the list, the third scariest experience you can have when travelling anywhere in the world, was going through US Customs.

I don't know what it's like for US citizens returning home, but I can tell you from personal experience that for visiting foreigners, getting off a plane in Los Angeles and being confronted with those Customs officers is truly, deeply scary. Even if you're not doing anything wrong at all, it's still enough to scare the socks off most people.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 07:45 AM
I can say it isn't scary coming home via plane. Driving back across the Canadian border- the US customs are really dicks.

Black Angel
11-02-2010, 12:17 PM
Oh yes LAX customs sucks for an outsider. I remember coming to meet PiS when he was in Austin for work, and I was travelling on my own. I was seated next to 2 other girls who were both travelling on their own (independently of each other also), both in their late teens. It was a turbulent flight & we were all sick as dogs for most of it (16 hours or so), then we landed & had to queue for hours to get to the front of the line. On the plane they had told us if we weren't sure about filling out any part of the forms, leave it and ask when we got there but there wasn't anyone to ask until you got to the front of the line. Just as I got called to go up, one of girls (who was next) told the extremely surly staff member that she didn't have the exact address for where she would be staying (this was when it had only just come in as a requirement by US customs & before they checked with you in Aus when you left that you knew) as she would be meeting her boyfirend. The staff member just said 'Well you'll have to find out, there's phones at the back of the room' and walked off. The back of the room was back at the end of the hours long queue again, another flight had come in and she just looked at me and said 'I don't have any US money to make a call'. Unfortunately I didn't either, and I had to go or miss my spot to go through. That poor kid, she looked so lost I felt really sorry for her & I always wondered what happened to her. :(

The Winslow
11-02-2010, 12:33 PM
The moral of the story is: don't get an American boyfriend.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 01:27 PM
Nah the Canadians did that to me the first time I flew to meet Patrick.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 01:28 PM
You make up an address and move along.

Caus really they dont have the resources to check. You come back tearful and remorseful, with an address you looked up on your phone via google- be sure its residental and boom.

nerfherder
11-02-2010, 02:02 PM
Caus really they dont have the resources to check. You come back tearful and remorseful, with an address you looked up on your phone via google- be sure its residental and boom.
Except you aren't allowed to use mobile phones in the customs area...

Someone in the line behind me started a conversation on their phone and they were told in no uncertain terms to end it NOW.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 02:03 PM
I could use my phone. I even asked if I could. They said no problem. I would have been fucked then had they said no.

nerfherder
11-02-2010, 04:03 PM
I could use my phone. I even asked if I could. They said no problem. I would have been fucked then had they said no.

They must have recognised your American accent :tongue:

I can't remember which airport it was - Chigaco or Atlanta, IIRC - but there were definitely "No cellphone" signs up at the passport control area. I don't think there were the same restrictions before or after.

The person told to stop using theirs replied "Yeah, just a second...", to which the roaming security guard said "No. Now!"

Pigs in Space
11-02-2010, 05:13 PM
One of the most painful things about us immigration is that they are all such DICKS!

I don't see why they have to be such surly, aggressive people.
In general in most countries you line up and do the same shit, everyone is smelly and tired, noone is happy, but in the US, they rub a bit of salt in the wound as well.

Good times.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 06:48 PM
The French weren't so awesome when I went in 98

Ancalagon
11-02-2010, 06:53 PM
don't mistake "tamponer" with "taponer" ;)

I thought german custom officials were a bit anal.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 07:15 PM
I didn tsay much i wrote what i needed to say down carefully and showed people. i am way to self conscious about my crappy accent

Freedom Canadian
11-02-2010, 11:22 PM
Security: "Nobody goes to Indianapolis on vacation. Why are you really going there...?"
Me: "Er, there's this thing called Gencon..."


That's why I bring last year's program when I go to Gen Con.

"Why are you coming to the US ?"

"I am attending this" *hands program*

I also make sure to have printouts of hotel reservations and car itineraries.

A month ago, it was "I'm flying to St Louis then driving back to Vermont with my girlfriend." and the guy was all "you can't drive from St Louis to Burlington in two days !" and I gave him the Google Maps printout that says it's an 18 hour drive. Border guards like paper trails.

I can say it isn't scary coming home via plane. Driving back across the Canadian border- the US customs are really dicks.

It depends on the place. I have found that the US customs people at the Plattsburg, NY crossing tend to have sticks up their butts and can be assholes (one border guard tried to make me feel bad for going to Albany to see some friends on Easter instead of visiting my parents). In Detroit, the guards were curt and no-nonsense. In Port Huron/Sarnia (very scenic border crossing, that one), the US guards were very friendly and helpful. At the crossing between Vermont and Quebec, border guards tend to be very nice, especially if you mention the magic word (airport). It's the only crossing where I usually have an easier time on the US side than the canadian side.

Pigs in Space
11-02-2010, 11:30 PM
The French weren't so awesome when I went in 98

I have to say, the french were nice to me.

The spanishes, not so much.

Brynja
11-02-2010, 11:35 PM
That's why I bring last year's program when I go to Gen Con.

"Why are you coming to the US ?"

"I am attending this" *hands program*

I also make sure to have printouts of hotel reservations and car itineraries.

A month ago, it was "I'm flying to St Louis then driving back to Vermont with my girlfriend." and the guy was all "you can't drive from St Louis to Burlington in two days !" and I gave him the Google Maps printout that says it's an 18 hour drive. Border guards like paper trails.



It depends on the place. I have found that the US customs people at the Plattsburg, NY crossing tend to have sticks up their butts and can be assholes (one border guard tried to make me feel bad for going to Albany to see some friends on Easter instead of visiting my parents). In Detroit, the guards were curt and no-nonsense. In Port Huron/Sarnia (very scenic border crossing, that one), the US guards were very friendly and helpful. At the crossing between Vermont and Quebec, border guards tend to be very nice, especially if you mention the magic word (airport). It's the only crossing where I usually have an easier time on the US side than the canadian side.

I did my crossings the Peace Bridge at Fort Erie which dumped me onto the QEW. I came back one valentines day with some roses- she almost made me throw them away.

nerfherder
11-03-2010, 05:51 AM
Good idea about having stuff written down/printed out. Both times I've gone to Gencon, though, I haven't had a badge, and I haven't had a room reservation (I was sharing with Francisca & his friends), so I was a bit nervous about being believed. I made sure I had a contacts list (with phone numbers) and my schedule printed out and in my hand luggage in case I needed to prove anything.

2008 was definitely worse than 2007. I do remember in 2007 being asked how many cameras I had on me (at Manchester airport - before I'd even left the UK!). I had 3 - SLR, compact and phone camera. They were happy enough with that, though. I don't know if there was a big problem with camera smuggling, or what.

Freedom Canadian
11-03-2010, 08:32 AM
I did my crossings the Peace Bridge at Fort Erie which dumped me onto the QEW. I came back one valentines day with some roses- she almost made me throw them away.

Wow. :mad:

Brynja
11-03-2010, 08:42 AM
Almost- the male customs agent in the booth over told her to lighten up and I got waved along.

shiningbrow
11-03-2010, 10:14 AM
I've been very fortunate coming back into the US from abroad. Usually if you have nothing to declare, they say, "welcome home" check your passport and wave you through. It's nice, really. Sorry to hear about the troubles others here have encountered.

I haven't really had problems going into other countries either. I should go knock on some wood now.

nerfherder
11-03-2010, 10:25 AM
I've been very fortunate coming back into the US from abroad. Usually if you have nothing to declare, they say, "welcome home" check your passport and wave you through. It's nice, really. Sorry to hear about the troubles others here have encountered.

I haven't really had problems going into other countries either. I should go knock on some wood now.

Coming back to Newcastle airport, there was an American woman who hadn't filled out her visa waiver form. She approached the checkpoint expecting to be able to fill it out there (while everyone queued behind her, presumably?). The security officer was pretty brusque with her, telling her to come back when it was filled in. None of the other furriners seemed to suffer any hassle, though.

Critter
11-05-2010, 09:10 PM
I hated crossing the border when I visited Ascarel in '08.

I spent close to 5 hours in customs getting interrogated. Actually, I believe I called and asked Enk to drop Ascarel a message saying I was severely behind schedule. That was seriously one of my worst experiences ever.

Of course, after the Canadian side told me to turn around and try again later, the US picked me up and talked to me as well. That's where the whole "where's the dope?" thing came from. I guess they thought I was moving drugs. Silly me and my silly long hair.

Ascarel
11-06-2010, 08:34 AM
Ah, good times. ;) I'm pretty sure you told that story in full on here. I gotta revisit that thread.

I hated crossing the border when I visited Ascarel in '08.

I spent close to 5 hours in customs getting interrogated. Actually, I believe I called and asked Enk to drop Ascarel a message saying I was severely behind schedule. That was seriously one of my worst experiences ever.

Of course, after the Canadian side told me to turn around and try again later, the US picked me up and talked to me as well. That's where the whole "where's the dope?" thing came from. I guess they thought I was moving drugs. Silly me and my silly long hair.

Cat of Ulthar
11-06-2010, 08:37 AM
This was us going into the US:

alternate identity
11-06-2010, 04:02 PM
This was us going into the US:


Rubber ducky, you're the one.
You make my bath time so much fun,
Rubber ducky, I'm in love
With you...

AI

Brynja
11-07-2010, 08:08 PM
Dammit I hoped AI would have a cloak and dagger tale to tell :(

Ancalagon
11-07-2010, 10:48 PM
A month ago, it was "I'm flying to St Louis then driving back to Vermont with my girlfriend."

Wait, you have a girlfriend?

Huzza!!!

Freedom Canadian
11-08-2010, 02:07 PM
Wait, you have a girlfriend?

Huzza!!!

I don't tend to talk about it online, but yes, indeed. :D

An american girlfriend, too. I told her that if she wants to move here, she'll have to steal our jobs and our women.

Pigs in Space
11-08-2010, 07:52 PM
I don't tend to talk about it online, but yes, indeed. :D

An american girlfriend, too. I told her that if she wants to move here, she'll have to steal our jobs and our women.

Isn't that like the reverse of what should be happening?

shiningbrow
11-10-2010, 02:10 AM
xiaohu3, I am sending plagues upon you and your family. You will sicken and die.

Freedom Canadian
11-10-2010, 07:44 AM
Isn't that like the reverse of what should be happening?

Our jobs will steal her ?

The Winslow
11-10-2010, 07:57 AM
Well, FC has already stolen an American woman, now all he needs to get is an American job.

Critter
11-10-2010, 08:01 AM
Can I have his Canadian job and a Canadian woman in exchange? Would be great.

doc
11-10-2010, 12:07 PM
Depends if she looks like Bunny or not

Worst border crossing I ever had was going into Texas, those New Boston cops are rough

Pigs in Space
11-10-2010, 05:01 PM
Our jobs will steal her ?

Nah, I thought Americans had Canadian girlfriends?

Name Lips
11-10-2010, 05:04 PM
I had an American girlfriend once...

Freedom Canadian
11-10-2010, 09:35 PM
Nah, I thought Americans had Canadian girlfriends?

That's what I've been trying to convince her to try !

Pigs in Space
11-11-2010, 12:07 AM
That's what I've been trying to convince her to try !

Ooooh, she could be a keeper!

Freedom Canadian
11-11-2010, 07:32 AM
I had an American girlfriend once...

How was it ?

Ooooh, she could be a keeper!

She definitely is. :)

shellbelle101
11-18-2010, 12:01 AM
Canadians and Americans living together. Mass hysteria.
Congrats, FC. :winkgun:
:yes:

Freedom Canadian
11-18-2010, 08:05 AM
Man, that's one ugly avatar. :grey:

I don't want to date it.

Trainz
11-18-2010, 10:19 AM
Yeah Shellbelle, change that avatar.

Here are a few:

shiningbrow
11-18-2010, 11:30 AM
Yes. At least get it a dentist, or a role in an Aphex Twin video.

Name Lips
11-18-2010, 12:23 PM
That 4th suggestion would be hilarious as an animated gif.

Dacke
11-18-2010, 05:44 PM
Nah, I thought Americans had Canadian girlfriends?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B53V9vuJu0

shellbelle101
11-18-2010, 11:33 PM
Man, that's one ugly avatar. :grey:

I don't want to date it.

Yeah Shellbelle, change that avatar.

Here are a few:


Changing avatars sounds like manwork, but I'll try. ;)
None of that inspired me though, Trainz. I'ma need something that tops that hag that's been my pic for a while now. I mean, I'm sure she has a lovely personality.

Although...the cross eyed chick pic from the 50's/60's is growing on me.

Harry
11-18-2010, 11:45 PM
If you like that one, how about a true classic, and one Trainz hasn't used as an av yet...

Here, resized it and cleaned it up a little....

shellbelle101
11-19-2010, 12:00 AM
Thanks, Harry. That's just what I needed. :)

Harry
11-19-2010, 12:22 AM
Glad to be of assistance. :P

shiningbrow
11-19-2010, 05:24 AM
She's a real trooper!

Trainz
11-19-2010, 09:25 AM
Thanks, Harry. That's just what I needed. :)

:lol: