Joel Burns tells gay teens "it gets better"

[Ancalagon]

Please, spread this around!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4&feature=player_embedded

[Harry]

That's pretty astounding.

Folks today who know me find it hard to believe, but I was severely bullied throughout my school years, from the 3rd grade up until about the 7th, continuing to some degree until the 9th. It had to do with being different, being smarter, being a nerd - and also because when I was in the 3rd grade I'd never heard the word "gay" used for anything but "happy" [this was about the time the meaning was changing]. I certainly didn't know what a homosexual was. But, I remember clearly the girl who interrupted me in reading and asked me if I was "gay". Quite possibly a turning point in my entire childhood, because I said yes, ignorant of what she meant. That followed me for almost years, right up until I finally figured out that I was actually getting a following with some girls and starting really dating, and about the same time I knocked a guy out for calling me gay, when I was in the tenth grade I think.

Luckily, I wasn't the type to internalize that to the degree that I'd off myself, but I'm different from many people and I recognize that. I was miserable, to be sure, to which I reacted by largely withdrawing from my classmates in elementary school. But I was miserable at home, too, because I was a horribly abused child, physically and emotionally. Don't think I've talked much about that outside the ex-wife, girlfriends, and my Dad [my mother was the abuser]. I might have mentioned it in the old anonymous forum. But.... it's not who I am and never has been who I am. Just something that went into making me.

I'm different from most of the bullied kids, because I survived on my own, with my own wits and my personality mostly intact and undamaged [except for what some would call extreme defensiveness]. I hope thousands and thousands see this man's video.

Much rep to him, and you Anc.

[Hatter]

It's from Dan Savage's It's Gets Better Project (http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject). I highly recommend checking it out, many of the videos are really good.

[bunny]

Very moving.

I'm rather fond of the Rick Mercer one as well.

[DarwinOfMind]

that video made me cry at work and then a customer came it, it was very moving.

[Ink Bleeder]

OK, I'm a sobbing mess now.

Harry, you sure as hell weren't alone. My family moved from Albuquerque to southern California when I was 7 or 8 - the middle of 3rd grade, I think. It was a huge culture shock. In Albuquerque at that time, at least for little girls, no one thought anything of holding hands. You can imagine what happened the first time I tried that in California, when I'd finally made a friend. I remember clearly being bewildered by everyone's reaction and having no idea what a "Lezzie" was.

Fourth grade. How fucking stupid. I hadn't even hit puberty - no one in the class had - but I was a target for my nonexistent sexual identity?

I don't know what can be done to prevent or end bullying. I'm not sure if anything would work in a traditional school model. Which is one reason why I absolutely hated school, and still have little respect for the institution.

[Andreas]

I don't know what can be done to prevent or end bullying.

How does that quote go? "An armed society is an polity society"...

;)

[bunny]

How does that quote go? "An armed society is an polity society"...

;)

Armed with the power that this isn't odd anymore.

When my parents were young, the worry in grade school was cooties. If you showed any attention to a member of the opposite sex, you would get cooties from them.

Now the fear is gay sex. If you show any attention to members of the same sex you are gay. Cooties are no longer an issue.

Yes, we will move past this. But childhood, and schools especially, seem to be a time and place for learning to behave as part of the pack and learning what it is to be ostracized for not conforming with the pack (whether by choice or by nature).

Things will get better (as a movement) means a lot to the gay community. But, I showed this to my boyfriend and I said this is so much more. This should be seen by any student who feels like shit about every day they have to return to school. Every student who fears what the next day will bring in humiliation and pain. Because didn't it get better for all of us after we left.

I was talking with a coworker recently about how I realized that I had spent my grade school years in a constant state of fear. He asked me what the issue was, and I tried to explain it. He said that, well, really, don't I get yelled at and harassed and told that I am worthless at work. And I said, yes. But at least then I have done something to earn it. I haven't done a project correctly. I have gone over budget, etc. I have actually failed at an assigned task. Whereas, in school, I was verbally (and occasionally physically) assaulted for no reasonable or justifiable reason.

As Rick Mercer said, you are worse off than most prisoners, because you have to actually do something really bad to earn a 12 year sentence after you turn 18.

I don't want to undercut the importance of what Dan Savage and many others are doing for the gay movement with this campaign, but the message runs much deeper and crosses so many barriers with regard to culture, class, religion, sexual orientation, gender and gender identification, or just generally being out of the norm.

[Dr. Paragon]

that video made me cry at work and then a customer came it, it was very moving.

Me and the MRS both were getting all weepy watching the abbreviated version they had on "The Last Word". last week. I admit I am trepidatious
about watching the full length version.

You folks are correct about bullying. It is beholden to one of the sayings
I reflect almost daily: "The only way to win this game, is not to play."

If you do not cooperate with that which means you harm, it often is
incapable of harming you, or at least harming you as much as it could.

[Bagpuss]

How does that quote go? "An armed society is an polity society"...

;)

You know advocating for more school shootings probably isn't a good idea.

[Andreas]

Bah, if you know most of the kids at school are packing heat the chance of taking many with you diminishes rapidly until it is no longer worth it.

And bullies will think twice if they know you really can retaliate if they push you to far...

It is not by chance most bullies target "small/weak/helpless" kids or act as a group.

[Brynja]

so you are encouraging a shootout??

[Andreas]

Na, i just encourage the possibility of a shootout, so that everyone thinks long and hard if it´s really worth risking one owns life (and not just the happiness and maybe bright future of someone else) to pick on anyone for no good reason.

Think of it as a fast feedback opportunity.

Instead of teen years later: "Man, i think i was a dick in highschool" you get "BAM!"

[bondetamp]

Kids are well known for thinking things through, so this is a great idea!

[Brynja]

Na, i just encourage the possibility of a shootout, so that everyone thinks long and hard if it´s really worth risking one owns life (and not just the happiness and maybe bright future of someone else) to pick on anyone for no good reason.

Think of it as a fast feedback opportunity.

Instead of teen years later: "Man, i think i was a dick in highschool" you get "BAM!"



.....I hope you are kidding.

I would have blood spattered hallways if you arent.

[Dr. Paragon]

Na, i just encourage the possibility of a shootout, so that everyone thinks long and hard if it´s really worth risking one owns life (and not just the happiness and maybe bright future of someone else) to pick on anyone for no good reason.

Think of it as a fast feedback opportunity.

Instead of teen years later: "Man, i think i was a dick in highschool" you get "BAM!"

Do us all a favor and just stop this bit of threadjackery.

Arming kids is stupid. The idea of arming kids is also stupid.
End of discussion.

Now about Joel Burns and his plea to "Stick around"....

[Ancalagon]

Kids are well known for thinking things through, so this is a great idea!

Indeed! In fact, let's just hand every kid a block of C4 - their motor control aren't that good and they might miss with guns. You don't need to aim with a pound of C4!

:rolleyes:

[Redallia]

Na, i just encourage the possibility of a shootout, so that everyone thinks long and hard if it´s really worth risking one owns life (and not just the happiness and maybe bright future of someone else) to pick on anyone for no good reason.

Think of it as a fast feedback opportunity.

Instead of teen years later: "Man, i think i was a dick in highschool" you get "BAM!"

http://knowyourmeme.com/i/000/064/044/original/wtf_am_i_reading.png?1281033505

[Hatter]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geyAFbSDPVk&feature=player_embedded

[Kyle Voltti]

I was thinking about this today and I wonder if one of the reasons there seems to be such a difficulty for adults to deal with this problem is because of the difference in the scale of preceptive time between children and adults.

for a child time moves achingly slow and for an adult it seems to blitz by. so it's hard to say to a young person "don't worry this will all get better soon" when every day is an eternity for them.

[Xavier Lang]

I was thinking about this today and I wonder if one of the reasons there seems to be such a difficulty for adults to deal with this problem is because of the difference in the scale of preceptive time between children and adults.

for a child time moves achingly slow and for an adult it seems to blitz by. so it's hard to say to a young person "don't worry this will all get better soon" when every day is an eternity for them.

Its something people aren't good at in general.

To a teenager, each year represents 10-15% of their life experiences.
If you are over 30, each year represents less than 4% of your life experience.
(Those numbers assume you can't recall much about being 5 or younger, which most people can't.)
If you are 15, each new data point (life experience) is far from all the others in your data set of life experience. It could be the worst or best thing you have ever experienced or imagined so far.
At 30, you have so many more data points for comparison its easier to judge how catastrophic or marginal something actually is and you have more things to compare everything to. Your best and worse moments are more extreme so when something happens its easier to see where it fits in the range of best to worst things.

[Hatter]

So this attention whore shock jock in Dallas/FW responds to Joel Burns.

(not safe for blood pressure)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI0lSa_rSno&feature=player_embedded

[Kyle Voltti]

So this attention whore shock jock in Dallas/FW responds to Joel Burns.

(not safe for blood pressure)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI0lSa_rSno&feature=player_embedded


it's funny what some people will do when they no longer want to work....