The Phantom Shitter

[alternate identity]

Many years ago in San Francisco I had a job which took me to the south end of Market Street on graveyard shift. One of the hazards of the job was some nameless soul who would climb up onto your car and shit on your windshield. He was known as the Phantom Shitter. We never did find out who it was.

AI

[Harry]

We had one of those at my old store, back in the early 2000's. He'd go into the public mensroom, shit, and wipe the shit all over the walls and stalls with paper towels. It happened with real randomness, difficult to predict and often impossible to pinpoint what time it happened sometimes. In real CSI fashion I determined that it was possibly an employee, just by trying to imagine what the person was acting up against. But when I had a couple of instances that I could somewhat track on camera [people entering and exiting the mens room], there were no good candidates among employees on the premises at the time.

Back then, all my janitorial work was done by my baggers and they were so worked up over this they would have literally strangled the person doing it. So when I eventually figured out who it was, I never told. It was the teenaged son of our assistant Deli manager. When I confronted her, she refused to believe it was him, but once I said something to her the problem just kinda went away on its own. Go figger.

By the way, I always thought of the guy we were looking for as "The Scat Artist", but I'm different. Everyone else called him, guess what.... "The Phantom Shitter".

[Pigs in Space]

This entire thread sickens me.



I once exited a stall at my old job, and while washing my hands my manager exited a nearby one. The only thing he said to me was "Had a curry last night".

I left pretty quickly.


edit: He gave me the "two thumbs up" signal as well.

[Janos]

We had the same problem at a restaurant I worked at. Thank god I didn't have to clean it up. We had a crazy old dude who would smear it everywhere, including throw it on the ceiling. We never did figure out who it was, nor did we figure out how he produced enough volume to cover the amount of space he defaced.

Our bus boy would use a hose and a mop at a distance.

[AZRogue]

Damn this thread. Whenever I see a nasty pile of shit I always assume it was done by a dog, no matter where it is. Now, I have to imagine some random phantom shitter terrorizing the world. Thanks. A lot.

[The Theocrat of Poon-Tang]

Weird, but I read this thread for the first time yesterday. Sure as hell my wife came home with a story about how, in the girls room at the elementary school she teaches at, somebody wrote a nice "F-You" in shit on the wall.

Of course the lazy ass "engineer" (ie. head janitor) waited until his flunky came in later in the day to clean. A whole day that sat on the wall in a school.