What makes you feel good about yourself?

[Radu]

I was just wondering...

what makes you all feel good about yourselves?

This is a community I go to to feel connected, to unwind, to bitch, and to figure out what's going on. You are my friends, in other words. Some of you literally, in my real life, and some of you only electronically (until I can afford a trip to Canada, that is).

Thank you, Kaytastrophe, for never judging me (or at least for keeping it quiet if you have). I need that right now.

This is yet another quasi-drunk post by Radu, but the thesis of it is this:

Why can't people be happy with my image as it is? I'm a motherfucking hairy sombitch, no doubt, but that's what I am. I can't change that any more than I can change my eye color or skin tone. I'm also a rather unrepentant geek who's openly into some pretty dorky shit: psychobilly punk rock, role playing games, giant mecha, and science fiction novels, to name a few.

I'm tired of being an outcast for being who I am.

Fuck me. I'm probably going to regret this post in the morning, but right now I'm not feeling too tops. I've gone from being on cloud nine for buying a new car and drawing a line in the sand about being overworked to feeling like shit because the concert I've been looking forward to for a month and a half has been canceled and I've been alternately hit on and dissed (mostly dissed) by a bunch of people I've only met tonight because I'm not a hairless wonder like they prefer. Well, guess what: I'm a white European descended male. I've got hair in places man was never meant to have it, and it ain't any doing of mine, so don't give me any shit about being too furry, because I can't help it.

Oh fuck me, I'm such a whiny bitch sometimes. Premature new year's resolution:

Don't drink on nights you're not absolutely sure you're with good friends who like you for who YOU are all the time, not for who you are at the moment. Drink with friends who like you, and not friends who like you because you're available at the moment.

[Lady Fury]

First off I want to say I've always enjoyed these kinds of posts from you. Not because they're humorous but because you reveal part of your soul. You are one of us. Kay's is a family. We have all walks of life here and we all seem to find an inner connection with every member here. It's hard to explain but we all feel it. This place is kind of like the Cheers bar. Sometimes you just want to go where every body knows your name and they're always glad you came. (Yep I'm doing my part to pull some of the embarrassment upon me so you don't shoulder it all. :tongue:)

Seriously though Radu you know it doesn't matter one bit if people are comfortable with your image. You are comfortable with who you are and those people (like us) who see this are there for very comfortable with you as well. The rest of them can go to hell.

And finally to answer your original question, if you are really seeking an answer, the thing that makes me feel good about myself is my ability to keep my head held high when my whole world seems to be falling down. Sometimes it amazes me that I am able to pick myself back up every time life knocks me down. I hope my kids get this quality because it really does come in handy, especially when it seems like things may not get better. My friends here at Kay's have really helped me with all this over the last few years. They welcomed me back when others would have kicked my ass to the curb. They saw something in me that I couldn't see at the time and made sure that I got the raw honest truth when no one else was willing to give it to me.

Funny thing is I'm completely sober and here I am rambling on about mushing lovey friendship shit. I need to go dirty my mind now...... maybe another Daily Erotica thread will fix that.

[shiningbrow]

Radu, don't let contemporary expectations of body images get to you. I think about all those sexy leading men in 1950's films who were very hairy and then there's Andy Garcia. Caucasian men have body hair in areas that other races don't to the same degree. None of it really matters. What's important is that you are comfortable with yourself. There's what, some 6 billion people on the earth right now? If you began introducing yourself to everybody you'd die before you finished. This means, you have nearly infinite possibilities of people to befriend and associate with--life's way too short to throw away more than a minute or two on those goons you spent the evening with. Write them off. Move on. You should just relax and not think about it.

What makes me feel good about me? The sense that I got alot accomplished in any given day. Seeing my name on a published article and thinking it was well written and said something of value. Having a student tell me that they really enjoyed my class. My husband happy after a good meal that I cooked for him. Hearing from good old friends, or having my bird whistle at me. It doesn't take much, but like you, I certainly get strung out and feel bad from time to time. That's one reason I come here.

[Brynja]

Hmm first of all I like men with body hair. I date Grizzly Adams for starters. Movingon past that...what makes me feel good?

Seeing one of my students "get it", my mother praisinng me, seeing the scale go down a bit, working hard on something and seeing the fruit of my labor, making love with my boyfriend, in the same vein, when i feed him to the point all he can do is smile and cuddle....i have won!

Just a few of the things that make me feel good.

[Dawnstar]

I agree with Brynja with the whole hairy thing. :)

Now as for what makes me feel good about myself. This is sort of hard for me at times because I have always had low self esteem as well as poor body image for most of my life. I am just very lucky to have a husband who thinks the world of me and my body and that is a huge help. Hearing from him, my MIL and even my stepdaughter that I am very good for him and they are glad I am in his life does a lot at times. Also my kids. All I have to do is look at them and realize, i created that from scratch and look at them. It is just amazing.

[Old Fart]

Seriously though Radu you know it doesn't matter one bit if people are comfortable with your image. You are comfortable with who you are and those people (like us) who see this are there for very comfortable with you as well. The rest of them can go to hell.Y'know, I was gonna post a big long-winded pedantic answer, but LF put it better. So...yeah...ditto.
what makes you all feel good about yourselves?Honestly? Posts that remind me that at least I'm not the kind of shallow little f**kwad that judges people on appearance.
I'm also a rather unrepentant geek who's openly into some pretty dorky shit: psychobilly punk rock, role playing games, giant mecha, and science fiction novels, to name a few.Yeah, see here, to me it sounds more like you're listing your good points! As a balance out the rest of the post, where you recount a bad habit of drinking around some Class-A losers. Which is really the only thing I read that I'd want to change.

[King Vyper]

I was just wondering...

what makes you all feel good about yourselves?

This is a community I go to to feel connected, to unwind, to bitch, and to figure out what's going on. You are my friends, in other words. Some of you literally, in my real life, and some of you only electronically (until I can afford a trip to Canada, that is).

Thank you, Kaytastrophe, for never judging me (or at least for keeping it quiet if you have). I need that right now.

This is yet another quasi-drunk post by Radu, but the thesis of it is this:

Why can't people be happy with my image as it is? I'm a motherfucking hairy sombitch, no doubt, but that's what I am. I can't change that any more than I can change my eye color or skin tone.....
I'm tired of being an outcast for being who I am.

.

There is an entire segment of women and men(!) out there who love hariy men, You just got to find them.

On another note:

I'm also a rather unrepentant geek who's openly into some pretty dorky shit: psychobilly punk rock, role playing games, giant mecha, and science fiction novels, to name a few.


Reads like my top ten!

[Cat of Ulthar]

Radu, fuck em. I don't like body hair either but I've slept with Chewbacca nonetheless. If there is a spark, you take the body hair with the rest of the hot package. And there are plenty of women who *do* like it and think it's manly. I should hope that any girl you'd think of dating would be not so shallow as to be put off by that.

As to what makes me feel good about myself; for me, there is a lot tied in with approval of my friends. I used to have no friends, and that made me feel very insecure and unworthy. When I finally had friends, that meant a lot. I don't want many friends, but I want a few trustworthy ones. And I am very happy that I do. And the Cartographer who is a lovely guy and keeps telling me how wonderful I am does a lot as well. And my dictionaries and the fact that I have been approached by one of the most prestigious universities in the world who asked me to work for them, which still has me shocked. But also little things like a good comment on here which makes people laugh can make me grin for days.

[Name Lips]

I don't think about my body image much. One of my friends was talking about mirrors and appearance and I forget the actual conversation, but she was astonished when I said most days I never look in a mirror, and I don't really care how I look when I go out. To her it was part of the "I'm walking out the door" routine - run to the mirror to make sure you look ok.

So my answer to "what makes me feel good about myself" isn't going to include anything about my physical body -- if you hadn't mentioned issues it wouldn't have occurred to me at all.

I feel good about myself when I'm doing something I know I can do well. I enjoy working with computers and programming, which is why I'm going back to school for my programming degree.

In direct violation of that statement, everybody tells me I'm a great poet and writer, but somehow it doesn't make me feel good. It seems too easy, and I can't figure out how something so trivial can be a talent to be proud of. I know what I just said is nonsense, so don't bother calling me on it. But when I spend 10 minutes on a poem and everybody gushes over it I somehow feel like I'm tricking them. There's no right or wrong way to write a poem so I never feel like I've really done my best. My poems never "crash."

But when I'm programming, there's a real sense of accomplishment when the program isn't working and I have a flash and figure it out. It wasn't working before, and now it's a thing of beauty that truly functions. When it's written wrong, it simply doesn't work. I love that feeling of triumph when I surmount a problem. And perhaps programming is exactly the right difficulty level for me -- I've run into problems that make me scratch my head and get frustrated, but I've always been able to solve them. Knowing I have the capacity to solve the problems that crop up is a very empowering feeling -- it makes me feel like I can accomplish anything.

Other things that make me feel good:

cooking food that the whole family likes (difficult because there are 5 of us)
having friends come over and enjoy themselves
sex (I know it really goes without saying, since I think everybody feels fulfilled after good sex, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway)
remembering to do things I said I'd do (I'm pretty ADD, so I feel good when I manage to focus)
when my kids show spontaneous affection (the other day my little girl came up to me and said "Daddy, you're AWESOME." Melts the heart it does.)
I'm sure there's more but that's the top of my head.

[Pigs in Space]

When did this thread become about body image?

I don't think I've thought about this before.

I guess I like it when you have a group of people that build each other up, rather than individuals who just try to be the centre of attention, or worse, tear other folks down.

I think on an unconcious level I don't gravitate to either of the latter types.

[Droid101]

What makes me feel good about myself? How attractive and hairless I am.

Kidding, of course. I have the man-hair. Haven't received any complaints about it.

[Radu]

A followup to yesterday's post:

Last night one of the main things that kept coming up was hair, chest and arms specifically. I went to sleep still a bit buzzed and after leaving on a sour note. The night as a whole went well, but I was focusing on the end.

Waking up today, I read the post again and I started laughing, both at myself and some of the replies. I wore a short-sleeve button up shirt to work today and rocked it Hasselhoff style, so I could more prominently display my man fur because I thought it was funny when I woke up. Despite it hitting me hard when my guard was down, when I sobered up and thought about the night it made me laugh- who's being superficial here? Me, who went to a bar with a friend of mine and had a good time for 90% of the evening and only soured when a bunch of douchebags I didn't like anyway showed up and started talking, or the douchebags themselves, who didn't bother to figure out what we were talking about, who I was, or whether it would be cool to butt in?

Here's another new year's resolution: If you're going to drink, Radu, for God's sake don't get near a fucking computer! People are liable to put you on suicide watch with the way you come off when you've had a few.

:D

Stay classy, KT.

[Lady Fury]

We could have volunteered to wax your body for you.

[Lady_Acoma]

You know it's funny because for some many years I Hated myself. And believe me I never use that word lightly.

But there was always one thing that I have taken pride in and liked. I can listen to people and empathize really, really well. Sure I can be an asshole if I want to be, but normally if I talk to anyone for just a bit I can see a little of where they are coming from and relate to it in one way or another.

That's the thing I like about me.

[Lady Fury]

But there was always one thing that I have taken pride in and liked. I can listen to people and empathize really, really well. Sure I can be an asshole if I want to be, but normally if I talk to anyone for just a bit I can see a little of where they are coming from and relate to it in one way or another.

That's the thing I like about me.


I like that about you too!

[Squash Cop]

Radu, you sound like a great guy to hang out with.

Any psyhcobilly bands in particular you'd reccomend? I've got a Southern Culture on the Skids Pandora station. It plays them, Reverend Horton Heat and a lot of stuff with surf rock influences, like Los Straitjackets.

What do I like about myself? Lots of things, my body hair included. I'm a nice guy. Smrt, but try to view the world with beginner's eyes. I'm a good driver and a quick study.

[Kyle Voltti]

sometimes the only thing that makes me feel good about myself is not thinking at all. loseing myself in some task.

other times it's the smile on a coustomers face when I help them. I like that feeling more.

[Radu]

Radu, you sound like a great guy to hang out with.

Any psyhcobilly bands in particular you'd reccomend? I've got a Southern Culture on the Skids Pandora station. It plays them, Reverend Horton Heat and a lot of stuff with surf rock influences, like Los Straitjackets.

What do I like about myself? Lots of things, my body hair included. I'm a nice guy. Smrt, but try to view the world with beginner's eyes. I'm a good driver and a quick study.

Give me an email address and I'll share a number of psychobilly and punk tuned stations with you.

Off the top of my head:

Nekromantix
The Horrorpops
Zombie Ghost Train
Tiger Army
Blitzkid
Flametrick Subs
Stray Cats
Koffin Kats
The Meteors
The Cramps
Mad Sin
Demented are Go!
The Misfits

[bunny]

sometimes the only thing that makes me feel good about myself is not thinking at all. loseing myself in some task.

LEGO!!

[Snatch]

The Misfits

What? No Jem and the Holograms?!

[Black Angel]

What makes me feel good?

- Having a list of things to do, and getting them done.
- Having time to cross-stitch and watch bad TV.
- Hanging out with friends, that I can be myself with.
- Knowing I have a home & family that care about me no matter what, especially my dear husband. :)