Don't let me chicken out

[Lady Fury]

So I had my appointment today with the urologist and I have to go into the hospital tomorrow morning for what sounds like a very painful procedure which I have to be awake for and no pain meds. I'm trying not to freak out but the more I think about it the more I don't think I'll be able to do it. Ugh. And I also found out that I may have to have another surgery to fix a few things immediately so that I won't get another infection that will go septic. Nothing I have is life threatening but it has to be done and I don't wanna do it. I'm such a wimp.

[Harry]

You'll be fine. These things aren't as bad as you imagine them to be. Whenever you have one of the "you have to be awake" procedures, they usually give you an amnesia drug. You're aware enough during the procedure to say "left, right, stop, uh-huh" but that's about it. And once you recover, you don't know where you were!

Unless you're having something terribly gruesome, in which case I'm wrong and I've very sorry to have led you on. :o

[Lady Fury]

I have no idea how bad it's going to be and I don't know if they'll give me any drugs because right after it I have to drag my butt back to the doctor's office to find out the results. It's going to be a scoping in radiology to check for kidney reflux. :grey:

[Lady_Acoma]

But if you don't do it these things will turn life threatening... I am not trying to lessen the fear you have, I do understand that. But at the same time I really want you around and I am pretty damned positive that all of us here do, and that isn't even beginning to count all the people in your day to day life as well.

We are all here for you, and though we can't take the pain please take our prayers and thoughts and sentiments to heart.

[Harry]

It's going to be a scoping in radiology to check for kidney reflux. :grey:

Hmmm... That actually doesn't sound so bad. Uncomfortable I'm sure, and if you aren't used to being poked, embarrassing. But you should be pretty well used to being poked. I don't think it should be a painful procedure, at least not throughout the procedure. Wouldn't it be on the order of having a urinary catheterization? I've had real painful ones but that was because I had a Nurse Ratched wannabe. More compassionate nurses had a better feel for it.

[Lady Fury]

Thanks you Lady_A. I needed to hear that. :)

HJ yeah it's going to be a catherization and all of the ones I've ever had were awful. They burned. And then they'll fill the bladder full of contrast. Doesn't sound fun at all. And of course it's highly embarrassing.

I'm just being a pussy right. Thanks for letting me whine about it here.

[Harry]

Think about all the poor guys who have all that extra, ultra-tight and wiggly real estate to be navigated and laugh at their misfortune. By the time your done giggling, the catheter should be out and it'll all be over! :)

Urinary caths are no fun, I know, but there are worse ones. Heart caths... they give me nightmares. They hurt less than you average piss cath, but waiting for the diagnosis is hell, as is not being able to move for hours. You should be able to ace a urinary cath. Get 'em, tigress!

[Lady Fury]

I had a pic line in my heart for six months. You're right this thing tomorrow isn't nearly as scary as that. Thanks for putting into perspective for me. This is why I love coming to Kay's. I know that there are people here who have been there and done that.

[Lady_Acoma]

Normally the urinary ones for me are painful coming out more then going in, neither being comfortable though of course. Still the more you can relax the easier it is going in, just like with every other poke. I know that you are aware of this, and it is hard to act on it, but I have managed to get pretty calm considering what they are doing and it does really make a difference.

[Dawnstar]

Not sure if you are on your way to the hospital or not but wanted to let you know that you can do this. You are one strong woman, look what you have already been through. You can do this.

[Lady Fury]

I leave in about an hour and a half. I almost didn't get daycare. My brother in law never returned our calls. Thankfully the daycare could take the younger kids and pick up my kindergartner. I'm really nervous. I hope they give me something otherwise this isn't going to be fun for anyone involved.

[Dawnstar]

Let us know how you are doing once you get home.

[Lady Fury]

I just got home. Picked the kids up from daycare. I had nurse hatchet. Actually 3 of them since it took that many to finally get the damn thing in.:mad: I feel awful now. The doctor had to go to surgery so I didn't get to see him. The nurse in the office said I lost all the color in my face. Oh gee I wonder why? :mad::mad::mad::mad: So if this pain doesn't stop in an hour the told me to call. Why? I have no clue. It's not like I can go back in now. So anyways the procedure once it got started wasn't so bad since the let me watch on the screen. We noticed one major problem right away which was already suspected then once the contrast was in the tech pointed out something he'd never seen before. He said he'd get the radiologist to look at it. It looked like a fold in my bladder about an inch in. Our best guess is that it's probably a mass of endometreosis growing on the inside of my bladder. The doc was thinking that was the case before the procedure. That and the other issue will require surgery. Oh yay.:grey: BUT none of this will kill me so I'm not going to complain to much about. It just sucks that after all these years and surgeries that I still have the stupid endometreosis.

So aside from being completely embarrassed and having half of the radiology staff look up my who haw I think I'll be ok. I got the youngest 2 kids down for a nap and hopefully I can relax long enough to take one myself.

[Dawnstar]

I am glad to hear that things were not as horrible as you thought. yes it may have been embarrasing to you but remember they do this stuff all the time.

I am sorry to hear that you are going to have to have further surgery. That is never fun. But hopefully they can give you a little time to get your strength back before you put your body through any more trauma.

[Lady Fury]

Actually I feel like I have all my strength back. I feel really good. Everyone who is around me daily has noticed that I seem perkier and the weight loss sure helped with that too. I think right now I could handle a surgery just fine but I'd like to put off until Christmas break so that I can rest without having to tend to kids. I see the doctor on Wednesday and I'm sure all that will be discussed.

[Cat of Ulthar]

Whaaaaaa. I didn't comment up to now because I was totally freaked out by this and didn't think that would help you any. I had one cystoscopy and I hated it. I hate having things shoved up my urinary tract, and them filling it with radiactive stuff would seem even worse.
I have had tests where they took x-rays of my bladder but I had to eat some radioactive stuff for that some time before the procedure, and that meant they could see my bladder just fine. Fine with me, just don't shove anything up there. Shudder.

[Lady Fury]

Yep that's exactly what I had. I'm still hurting but the doctor said I should be fine by tomorrow. I told him I hope he got all the info he needed because I'm never doing that again. The worst part aside from that cath was the amount of radioactive fluid they filled me with. And they did it twice and then I had to try and evacuate my bladder with the cath still in so that they could film that as well. Talk about embarrassing. I can't even pee in front of my kids let a lone a bunch of strangers while laying on my back on an exam table.

[Lady_Acoma]

Talk about embarrassing. I can't even pee in front of my kids let a lone a bunch of strangers while laying on my back on an exam table.

Just takes practice...

[Lady Fury]

Today I have my follow up appointment to talk to my doctor to find out what's going on and what the next course of treatment is. A little nervous but nothing like I was for that awful procedure that I had done last week.