What happens when the British go abroad...

[Cat of Ulthar]

(Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

"The beach was too sandy."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, yet it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many ** foreigners."

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

[PWD]

Wow, they're practically Americans.

[shiningbrow]

My thoughts exactly! :)

[Varaj]

Stupidity knows no nationality.

[Cat of Ulthar]

I totally believe those are genuine complaints. When I was a tour leader, I had the stupidest tourists...

"Cat, does the chicken soup contain chicken?"
"I cannot eat this salad... It hasn't been cooked!"

[PWD]

"Cat, does the chicken soup contain chicken?"

That's not an entirely unreasonable question if it comes from a North American resident...

Edit: Allow me to expand upon that, since this may simply not be known abroad.... it's a running joke around these parts that most "bargain" chicken soup was made by having a chicken walk through it in rubber boots, because there's no chicken in it. Most times the real cheap stuff is in fact flavored chicken artificially and/or through such wonderful practices as rendering in chicken fat and skin and other byproducts.

Real chicken soup, with real chunks of chicken is not quite as common as one would like. Tourist traps are reknowned for horrible gouging, so a north american used to packet or vending machine chicken soup has a legitimate question there.

[Cat of Ulthar]

That's not an entirely unreasonable question if it comes from a North American resident...

Edit: Allow me to expand upon that, since this may simply not be known abroad.... it's a running joke around these parts that most "bargain" chicken soup was made by having a chicken walk through it in rubber boots, because there's no chicken in it. Most times the real cheap stuff is in fact flavored chicken artificially and/or through such wonderful practices as rendering in chicken fat and skin and other byproducts.

Real chicken soup, with real chunks of chicken is not quite as common as one would like. Tourist traps are reknowned for horrible gouging, so a north american used to packet or vending machine chicken soup has a legitimate question there.

She was Dutch. And not too smart. And talking to every single guy who showed interest in her (she was 20, gorgeous, and muslim, so about 45 % per cent of the population) and then being shocked when they propositioned her or asked rude questions ("Cat, he just asked 'Are you open or still closed?' What does he mean?"):rolleyes:

[PWD]

Gorgeous and dumb and you didn't talk her into nude pics for us?

For shame...

[Hatter]

I value morons like this as it makes it easier for the rest of us to make a good impression when expectations are set low.

[Northcott]

Stupidity knows no nationality.

I'm almost certain of it, yes. Yet my experience with German tourists has been nothing but glowingly positive -- even running into a pair a day and a half into Algonquin park. Always so damned friendly, polite, and open-minded.

[PWD]

I'm almost certain of it, yes. Yet my experience with German tourists has been nothing but glowingly positive -- even running into a pair a day and a half into Algonquin park. Always so damned friendly, polite, and open-minded.

Nobody who speaks german could be evil!

[The Winslow]

Except Lars Frehse.

[The Wanderer]

here is a couple things that happened at work last night doesnt involve tourist but just a bunch of dumb hick locals. everynight at work i spend most of my time in the garden center because of the summer holiday and last night i had to cart a 10,500 btu ac unit to the front of the store for a customer and on my way back i noticed a noise. there was this whirring noise followed bout every 5 seconds by an "Ow!" i run over to investigate and a customer had turned on an electric weedeater and the cord was hitting them in the face. and he kept goin back for more. i still dont understand how this guy managed to turn it one and hit himself in the face at the same time. the shaft of the machine was a little over 4 feet long.

[Ancalagon]

i still dont understand how this guy managed to turn it one and hit himself in the face at the same time. the shaft of the machine was a little over 4 feet long.
If something fool-proof is designed, nature will evolve a better fool ... :grey:

[Brynja]

Nobody who speaks german could be evil!


Hitler!!!


Godwined.


You're welcome.

[shiningbrow]

Weed whacker in the face. Classic. What a dork. That's a great story. Still, I hope you guys have a hefty liability coverage.

[doc]

Y'all got strange biscuits, I like buttermilk with redeye gravy myself

[Black Angel]

Doc, that's because biscuits = cookies in civilised countries, whereas your biscuits = scones/dumplings. :tongue:

[Hatter]

Doc, that's because biscuits = cookies in civilised countries, whereas your biscuits = scones/dumplings. :tongue:

Buttermilk Biscuits are not scone-like, nor do they sufficiently resemble dumplings.

[Black Angel]

Buttermilk Biscuits are not scone-like, nor do they sufficiently resemble dumplings.

Well I'm pretty sure they're not like any biscuits I would see by that name here, and are closer to savoury scones or dumplings than cookies.

[Limper]

Doc, that's because biscuits = cookies in civilised countries, whereas your biscuits = scones/dumplings. :tongue:

So what do they call them in Australia?

[Black Angel]

So what do they call them in Australia?

Australia = civilised country :tongue:

[shiningbrow]

They are basically savory scones. Pure and simple.

[Black Angel]

They are basically savory scones. Pure and simple.

Thanks, that's what I was trying to say. Apparently not everyone agrees. :)

[Brynja]

I agree :)

[Pigs in Space]

So what do they call them in Australia?

We call them "OMG WTF ARE YOU EATING, IT'S LIKE LITTLE BREAD THINGS COVERED IN GREY GOO! NO I DON'T WANT ANY I WANT TO LIVE! WHYWON'T YOU LET ME LIIIIIVE!".

[Hatter]

We call them "OMG WTF ARE YOU EATING, IT'S LIKE LITTLE BREAD THINGS COVERED IN GREY GOO! NO I DON'T WANT ANY I WANT TO LIVE! WHYWON'T YOU LET ME LIIIIIVE!".

It's either that or grits. Your choice.

[Schizm]

It's either that or grits. Your choice.

dude, cruel and unusual punishment is unconstitutional.

Even for foreigners.

[PWD]

dude, cruel and unusual punishment is unconstitutional.

Even for foreigners.

Oh come on, it's not like he's feeding them scrapple.

[Snatch]

Oh come on, it's not like he's feeding them scrapple.

Did you mean to say Snapple?

[Hatter]

Oh come on, it's not like he's feeding them scrapple.

Or chitlins or rocky mountain oysters.

[PWD]

Did you mean to say Snapple?

No (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrapple)

[nerfherder]

I totally believe those are genuine complaints.
I can believe it, too.

Some British tourists treat "abroad" as being a British holiday resort with more sunshine and are *shocked* to discover that the locals don't all speak English, and breakfast isn't a full English. One rule of thumb I have when choosing a restaurant to eat at is to discount the ones with pictures of sausage/chicken/eggs/chips prominently displayed, as they'll be full of sunburned families wearing England shirts shouting "Oi Manuel!" to catch the waiter's attention...

[Xavier Lang]

You would think people would learn that if you go someplace new, you will have to deal with new experiences instead of going someplace new to find only familiar things.

People take a week off and bum around the house for a reason. Its the perfect vacation sometimes.

[The Winslow]

The truth is that they don't want to go somewhere new. They want to go somewhere familiar but with a more appealing (to them at least...) weather.

[Bagpuss]

And in the south of Spain it is entirely possible to go to a resort, where everyone speaks English (in fact they probably are British), and all the food in British.

It's sad really, I always holiday in the north of Spain myself.

[nerfherder]

And in the south of Spain it is entirely possible to go to a resort, where everyone speaks English (in fact they probably are British), and all the food in British.

It's sad really, I always holiday in the north of Spain myself.
When I was 20, I toured round the North of Spain for 3 weeks - Girona, Barcelona, Madrid, Aranjuez, Toledo, Santiago de Compostela, La Coruna, Leon and Pamplona (no, I didn't run, I just watched!). It was amazing. I remember arriving at the Tourist Information office in La Coruna, and noone spoke English at all. :D