View Full Version : Hockey: A Simple Truth
GreyOne
08-23-2007, 10:03 PM
Hockey is the God of Sports.
It is the end all and be all, the Alpha and Omega.
It is the True Sport.
The sport above all others.
Hockey sits upon the throne.
Hockey's crown does not sit upon a troubled brow, because Hockey knows it is regal and all-powerful.
It is the exemplar of hard-hitting action, ruthless skill, and split second timing.
No sport can compare on any level.
It is better than you or your mother.
It is better than the best and greatest thing you have ever done, including dying and/or leaving the room.
Australian sports are for pussies.
American sports are for pussies.
European sports are for Eurotrash pussies.
South American sports are for...well I can't think of any South American sports.
Hockey screwed your mom and sent you a bill.
Hockey ate the last cookie.
Hockey could beat the shit out of Chuck Norris and make him pay for dinner.
Limper pays hockey rent and when he doesn't pay up, Hockey evicts his ass.
Let's face it, Hockey is your master and you can eat a bag of pucks for all you can say or do about it.
Go With Gretzky.
The man speaks wisdom rare in one who follows the Canucks.
Bow down and pay tribute, for Hockey is your lord and master, and you owe it no less.
Northcott
08-23-2007, 11:00 PM
Hello out there, we're on the air
it's hockey night tonight!
Tension grows,
as the whistle blows,
and the puck goes down the ice.
The goalie jumps,
and the players bump,
and the fans all go insane.
Someone roars:
"Bobby Scores!"
At the good old hockey game!
Ohhhh!
The good old hockey game!
It's the best game you can name!
And the best game you can name,
is the good old hockey game!
Second Period.
Players dash,
with skates a-flash,
the home team trails behind.
But they grab the puck,
and go bursting up,
and they're down across the line.
They storm the crease,
like bumblebees,
they travel like a burning flame.
See them slide the puck inside,
it's a one-one hockey game!
Ohhhh!
The good old hockey game!
It's the best game you can name!
And the best game you can name,
is the good old hockey game!
Third Period. Last game in the play-offs too.
Oh take me where, the hockey players,
face off down the rink,
And the Stanley Cup,
is all filled up,
for the champs who win the drink!
Now the final flick,
of a hockey stick,
and a one gigantic scream:
"THE PUCK IS IN! THE HOME TEAM WINS!"
At the good old hockey game.
OH!
The good old hockey game!
It's the best game you can name!
And the best game you can name,
is the good old hockey game!
Brynja
08-23-2007, 11:02 PM
All I ask is please for the love of god get Don Cherry better clothes.
Lisa Nadazdy
08-23-2007, 11:05 PM
All I ask is please for the love of god get Don Cherry better clothes.
Not just no, but HELL NO. We like Grapes just the way he is.
Pigs in Space
08-23-2007, 11:22 PM
Australian sports are for pussies.
Take the armour off, pussies.
When you can line a dude up from 30m, get some air, get a dog up you, then the boys can have a talk.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ugCw1UZ7ZjU
Big ROO #32 is retiring this year. The first hit in the show is his, I remember that hit : Stun Gun, this is what you get for changing clubs, you should have faked an injury.
Later on there's a hit from Bird Man #24, you can see a bit of raised elbow, he copped a couple for that, the tribunal said his intention was to hurt.
heh.
Pigs in Space
08-23-2007, 11:30 PM
Actually this one has better music, a lot of the same footage:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TiGoqObb0YQ
There seems to be a lot of hits on James Hird (essendon #5, red and black) in this one. Can't say I dissaprove, I'd fuckin' hit you too pretty boy.
A nice put down of cousins at the end there too. Take some Ice and get over it dickhead, stop rolling around like a girl.
GreyOne
08-24-2007, 02:55 AM
Actually this one has better music, a lot of the same footage:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TiGoqObb0YQ
There seems to be a lot of hits on James Hird (essendon #5, red and black) in this one. Can't say I dissaprove, I'd fuckin' hit you too pretty boy.
A nice put down of cousins at the end there too. Take some Ice and get over it dickhead, stop rolling around like a girl.
Do those shorts come with a hand bag?
Seriously.
Behold:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2W3Qm1YTFc&mode=related&search=
TiQuinn
08-24-2007, 06:46 AM
Hockey's okay.
I guess it's getting time for us to pull that Stanley cup thing that we use as an ashtray and polish it up for when the season starts.
NOW FOOTBALL! AMERICAN FOOTBALL!
That's a Sport!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVqoYvlEZis
Kastil
08-24-2007, 07:42 AM
There's nothing like the smell of freshly cut ice. That smooth sheen, the crisp blue and red lines underneath. The logo of your favorite team right at center ice where the puck falls and the battle begins. Goalies face the puck coming at blistering speeds and don't flinch, not because of the equipment they wear to protect themselves but because they do not fear the puck.
If you've never laced up, grabbed a stick and hit the ice- you don't know the thrill you're missing.
Thoth-Amon
08-24-2007, 08:08 AM
Do those shorts come with a hand bag?
Seriously.
Behold:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2W3Qm1YTFc&mode=related&search=
Great Link but I prefer this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRUlt4gDu8A&mode=related&search=
Northcott
08-24-2007, 10:21 AM
Take the armour off, pussies.
When you can line a dude up from 30m, get some air, get a dog up you, then the boys can have a talk.
Yeah, I guess you're right, Coop.
I mean, you Aussies are tough. I mean... those sharpened steel blades on your guy's feet! Hardcore. And that little frozen disk you shoot at each other -- it's been known to kill men! It'll certainly shatter bones with velocity from a good shot. Then there's the painful fact that power generated comes from force and speed... and those skates let a guy go a Hell of a lot faster than some guy jogging across the grass. And, of course, the bone-breaking impact of crashing into the ice, boards, or net in a hard rush.
I can see why you'd have disdain for protection, given the dangerous sport you boys play...
...
... no, hold on a tick. That's us. You're the candyass who jogs around a pretty little field with his soft Nancy ball while other men grope him.
GreyOne
08-24-2007, 11:31 AM
Hockey's okay.
I guess it's getting time for us to pull that Stanley cup thing that we use as an ashtray and polish it up for when the season starts.
NOW FOOTBALL! AMERICAN FOOTBALL!
That's a Sport!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVqoYvlEZis
Um, is there any football in that trailer? And I didn't see any dogfighting, coke parties or murders!
GreyOne
08-24-2007, 11:38 AM
Yeah, I guess you're right, Coop.
I mean, you Aussies are tough. I mean... those sharpened steel blades on your guy's feet! Hardcore. And that little frozen disk you shoot at each other -- it's been known to kill men! It'll certainly shatter bones with velocity from a good shot. Then there's the painful fact that power generated comes from force and speed... and those skates let a guy go a Hell of a lot faster than some guy jogging across the grass. And, of course, the bone-breaking impact of crashing into the ice, boards, or net in a hard rush.
I can see why you'd have disdain for protection, given the dangerous sport you boys play...
...
... no, hold on a tick. That's us. You're the candyass who jogs around a pretty little field with his soft Nancy ball while other men grope him.
PWNage, Gretzky-style!
TiQuinn
08-24-2007, 11:38 AM
Um, is there any football in that trailer? And I didn't see any dogfighting, coke parties or murders!
PenguinFighting just doesn't engender the same anger.
GreyOne
08-24-2007, 12:03 PM
PenguinFighting just doesn't engender the same anger.
Have you ever seen a penguin take down a full grown mackeral?
It's the most vicious of all snuff films.
GreyOne
08-24-2007, 12:54 PM
And after my mom took a puck in the balls she only has one left! Ha! :p
Blue Eyed Frau
08-24-2007, 09:27 PM
There's nothing like the smell of freshly cut ice. That smooth sheen, the crisp blue and red lines underneath. The logo of your favorite team right at center ice where the puck falls and the battle begins. Goalies face the puck coming at blistering speeds and don't flinch, not because of the equipment they wear to protect themselves but because they do not fear the puck.
If you've never laced up, grabbed a stick and hit the ice- you don't know the thrill you're missing.
Damn straight there woman :D
GreyOne
08-28-2007, 12:35 PM
Ah, you can not so conveniently ignore hockey. It is your master after all.
Droid101
08-28-2007, 12:56 PM
So, has the NHL gone bankrupt yet or what?
Edit: Nope, looks like they still even have a link on ESPN.com.
And my team won the championship last year! I rule!
GreyOne
08-28-2007, 12:57 PM
And my team won the championship last year! I rule!
:mad:
Droid101
08-28-2007, 01:00 PM
:mad:
Better luck next year! :)
Kastil
08-28-2007, 02:05 PM
Penguins are going all the way this year. :D
Penguins are going all the way this year. :D
Sadly it's more likely than my Leafs. :(
Northcott
08-28-2007, 02:57 PM
Sadly it's more likely than my Leafs. :(
The Leafs will take the cup in 2012. That's my crazy theory, and I'm sticking with it.
Kastil
08-29-2007, 06:57 AM
Sadly it's more likely than my Leafs. :(Well a true fan sucks up the bad years. Unlike my brother-in-law who is a self-proclaimed Flyers fan yet didn't watch or go to any games last year because they sucked donkey balls. I watch my Pens no matter what and plan on trying to get to a game this year.
Thoth-Amon
08-29-2007, 08:16 AM
Sadly it's more likely than my Leafs. :(
When is Leafs management going to wake up and decide to rebuild from the ground up with young players.
Penguins are going all the way this year. :D
They still need to get by the Sens.
They still need to get by the Sens.
The Sens are paper tigers. It's been proven year after year as they find new and more elaborate ways to choke.
That gang will never succeed without some serious retooling. They have assloads of talent, but they have shrivelled raisin bags where their testicles should be. Gutless bunch of pansies.
fett527
08-29-2007, 10:22 AM
Hockey sucks.
*but it looks good in HD.
Northcott
08-29-2007, 10:28 AM
The Sens are paper tigers. It's been proven year after year as they find new and more elaborate ways to choke.
The irony of this coming from a Leafs fan is staggering. :D
The irony of this coming from a Leafs fan is staggering. :D
The Leafs don't choke because they don't even compete.
Kastil
08-29-2007, 10:16 PM
They still need to get by the Sens.:yawn: Same old noise from you. The Pens were a very young team last year and they still made it to the playoffs. Now they're going into the season with experience and they WILL make the playoffs and go all the way this year.
This is for you. :donut: Eat it.
Thoth-Amon
08-29-2007, 11:08 PM
:yawn: Same old noise from you. The Pens were a very young team last year and they still made it to the playoffs. Now they're going into the season with experience and they WILL make the playoffs and go all the way this year.
This is for you. :donut: Eat it.
Time will tell.
I fully expect the Sens and Pens to meet in the playoffs again hopefully later than first round. I'll say this now expect to see Colorado in the Western Conference finals this up coming season.
Blue Eyed Frau
08-29-2007, 11:25 PM
:hockeyplayer: Now Now we all know the Senators are GOING to kick the Penguins butts again, Please......:hockeypuck:
Northcott
08-30-2007, 07:07 AM
The Leafs don't choke because they don't even compete.
See... that's sad, 'cause they used to at least choke. ;)
Though I hold that Gord Downey of the Tragically Hip is the Great Northern Prophet. 50 Mission Cap is his message to Leaf's fans -- 50 years after Bill Barilko, the Leafs will win the cup again. 2012 is your year, baby!
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