I hate superman

[Varaj]

Superman has to be the lamest cunt felching asshole idea for a super hero ever. Superman makes 10 Eyed Man look cool.
"Hi I can't lose, that's my power" what a lot of fucking crap. Because he is an overpowered donkey rimming asshole they have to come up with stupid plot ideas to challenge him. Fuck Superman. God the comics suck, the movies suck and all the writes for Superman should be beaten.

[Limper]

Superman has to be the lamest cunt felching asshole idea for a super hero ever. Superman makes 10 Eyed Man look cool.
"Hi I can't lose, that's my power" what a lot of fucking crap. Because he is an overpowered donkey rimming asshole they have to come up with stupid plot ideas to challenge him. Fuck Superman. God the comics suck, the movies suck and all the writes for Superman should be beaten.

Thats more clap than a hooker convention.

[FeatsofClay]

All reasons Batman should be America's hero.

Superman rents donkey balls to lick at inflated prices. NEVER been entertaining.

I don't like Seinfeld because he is so into Superman.

[Enk]

It would be fitting if your avatar suddenly changed.

[Limper]

It would be fitting if your avatar suddenly changed.

To easy.

[Northcott]

:confused:

...

...That's it?


That's your entire rant? COME ON! Are we going to have to get Keeper in here to teach you how to spew a proper rant? That was just so... unfocused. It lacked meat on the bones. No conviction behind it.

Let's talk to Keeper about Matt Lauer, and take notes this time!

[Varaj]

:confused:

...

...That's it?


That's your entire rant? COME ON! Are we going to have to get Keeper in here to teach you how to spew a proper rant? That was just so... unfocused. It lacked meat on the bones. No conviction behind it.

Let's talk to Keeper about Matt Lauer, and take notes this time!

My rant is a true heart felt hate, not a glistening art object. Meat and potatoes not Pierre and fucking tofu.

[Enk]

To easy.

What about this?

[strawberry]

If you truly hate superman, you should really check out Superdickery. (http://www.superdickery.com/siteindex.html)

[Northcott]

My rant is a true heart felt hate, not a glistening art object. Meat and potatoes not Pierre and fucking tofu.

Come ON, dude! That's all the hate you can summon? Work it, you moonstruck bastard! WORK IT!

I can get pissier about the teenager who prepares my coffee at Tim Horton's! You've got a hate-on for a character whose symbol is recognized internationally. A publication history of almost seventy years. Movies. Television shows. I think there's even been a poorly-written novel in there somewhere. You've got a ton of material to mock.

This is just laziness. You disgust me! :mad:

[Limper]

If you truly hate superman, you should really check out Superdickery. (http://www.superdickery.com/siteindex.html)

Damn funny site.

[strawberry]

Damn funny site.

Sometimes, it makes me laugh so hard I pee a little.

[Limper]

Sometimes, it makes me laugh so hard I pee a little.

Don't lie... you pee for fun as well as to mark your territory.

[Scarbonac]

Sometimes, it makes me laugh so hard I pee a little.

Too much information.

[Limper]

Too much information.

Don't lie it turns you on.

[Keeper of Secrets]

When I saw this rant against Superman all I could think of was Northcott checking his luggage onto a plane headed to your place. His luggage? A pair of cinderblocks. That's all.

[Northcott]

When I saw this rant against Superman all I could think of was Northcott checking his luggage onto a plane headed to your place. His luggage? A pair of cinderblocks. That's all.

I was drinking an avacado/berry protein shake when I read this. A thick one. Berry seeds hurt when they're lodged in the sinuses. :expressionless:

[Keeper of Secrets]

I was drinking an avacado/berry protein shake when I read this. A thick one. Berry seeds hurt when they're lodged in the sinuses. :expressionless:



:D

[Freedom Canadian]

When I saw this rant against Superman all I could think of was Northcott checking his luggage onto a plane headed to your place. His luggage? A pair of cinderblocks. That's all.

"Do you have anything to declare ?"

"Cinderblocks: Two (2)"

"You are aware that you can find cinderblocks locally in the US, sir ?"

"These are my cinderblocks. There are many like them, but these ones are mine. Plus, don't mind the stains, it's not blood I swear."

[Stratego]

A rebuttal.

[Northcott]

A rebuttal.

You FUCKERS! That's twice in fifteen minutes! Ow.

[TiQuinn]

Superman does suck.

He has the lamest Rogue's Gallery with the exception of a few like Luthor or Brainiac.

The Toyman? The Prankster? Myxltprick? There's no menace going on there. It's like putting up Superman Vs. Don Rickles. It's pure camp comedy. Bizarro? The best they could come up for this character is for him to be the Anti-Superman and to talk in broken Hulk jibberish.

Then there are his powers and lack of vulnerabilities. Maybe in 1938, it was cool to have a character who could do just about anything. At one time it may've been considered the height of comic book writing for the superhero to be always indestructible, as long as he was fighting evil scientists and Nazis, kids back then were entertained. The only suspense that was added was whenever Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen were thrown into some danger, and so it wasn't enough that Superman won....he had to save the day and save Lois and Jimmy from whatever dumb circumstance they put themselves in.

But times and tastes changed. So they introduced Kryptonite, which was like an add-on vulnerability for the character, and a weak one at that. Okay, so Kryptonite could rob him of his powers and potentially kill him. But then any villain would HAVE to have this supposedly rare mineral to have any chance of fighting Supes. (btw, opportunity to add another lame villain in Metallo who just happens to be powered by the stuff.) Kryptonite worked as a tack-on vulnerability for only so long. Eventually, they decided they had to shake things up .

Enter, Kryptonite and its umpteen different flavors (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kryptonite#Variations), each more queer than the last.

To inject some interest into the stories and maybe find something else to challenge Superman, they started overrelying on ancient Kryptonian technology or menaces from space a la Darkseid. They decided Superman needed buddies too. So they gave us such wonders as SuperGirl, Krypto The Super Dog, and Comet the Super Horse, and Beppo the Super Monkey, and stupid shit like the Bottle City of Kandor :rolleyes:

The retardation levels hit new heights in 80s when they rebooted the whole series just so they could go back and do the same stories all over again, which admittedly was a DC problem in general.

This isn't even including the overhyped, overmarketed, poorly written Death of Superman and Return of Superman along with four spanking new Superman derivative characters including Cyborg Superman and Steel.

Superman was a character best left to a bygone era when he was beating up Nazis. Ever since then, he's just become more and more retarded.

And the spit curl is just GAY.

[doc]

this explains it all (http://www.superdickery.com/seduction/76.htmlhttp://www.superdickery.com/seduction/76.htmlhttp://www.superdickery.com/seduction/76.htmlhttp://www.superdickery.com/seduction/76.htmlhttp://www.superdickery.com/seduction/76.html)

[Northcott]

A real rant.

Y'see? Now that's got some meat to it.


...


...Mind you, the geek in me finds all kinds of errors, but it's still getting a B+ for effort!

[TiQuinn]

Y'see? Now that's got some meat to it.


...


...Mind you, the geek in me finds all kinds of errors, but it's still getting a B+ for effort!


That's not a rebuttal. :D

[Northcott]

That's not a rebuttal. :D

What? You expected a rebuttal?

[Varaj]

You've got a hate-on for a character whose symbol is recognized internationally.


So is:

[Northcott]

So is:

Dude... your cooking is recognized internationally?

[TiQuinn]

What? You expected a rebuttal?


Ah. You agree then. :)

[doc]

What? You expected a rebuttal?

Isn't that what Jimmy gets on Thursday night ?

[Northcott]

Ah. You agree then. :)

With some points yes, with some points, no. If you really want a serious discussion on it, feel free to bring it into the proper forum and I'll blather on about the character. Otherwise I'll leave the rants to run their course.

So far yours is the best. Now if we could get one that combined Varaj's bile and your depth, we'd have a winner!

[EhtoZed]

Superman has to be the lamest cunt felching asshole idea for a super hero ever. Superman makes 10 Eyed Man look cool.
"Hi I can't lose, that's my power" what a lot of fucking crap. Because he is an overpowered donkey rimming asshole they have to come up with stupid plot ideas to challenge him. Fuck Superman.You might enjoy watching your heroes get their ass handed to them by some guy in a Big Boy costume but most people enjoy it when their heroes win.

God the comics suck, the movies suck and all the writes for Superman should be beaten.Can't argue with that.

Superman does suck.

He has the lamest Rogue's Gallery with the exception of a few like Luthor or Brainiac.

The Toyman? The Prankster? Myxltprick? There's no menace going on there. It's like putting up Superman Vs. Don Rickles. It's pure camp comedy. Bizarro? The best they could come up for this character is for him to be the Anti-Superman and to talk in broken Hulk jibberish.

Then there are his powers and lack of vulnerabilities. Maybe in 1938, it was cool to have a character who could do just about anything. At one time it may've been considered the height of comic book writing for the superhero to be always indestructible, as long as he was fighting evil scientists and Nazis, kids back then were entertained. The only suspense that was added was whenever Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen were thrown into some danger, and so it wasn't enough that Superman won....he had to save the day and save Lois and Jimmy from whatever dumb circumstance they put themselves in.

But times and tastes changed. So they introduced Kryptonite, which was like an add-on vulnerability for the character, and a weak one at that. Okay, so Kryptonite could rob him of his powers and potentially kill him. But then any villain would HAVE to have this supposedly rare mineral to have any chance of fighting Supes. (btw, opportunity to add another lame villain in Metallo who just happens to be powered by the stuff.) Kryptonite worked as a tack-on vulnerability for only so long. Eventually, they decided they had to shake things up .

Enter, Kryptonite and its umpteen different flavors (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kryptonite#Variations), each more queer than the last.

To inject some interest into the stories and maybe find something else to challenge Superman, they started overrelying on ancient Kryptonian technology or menaces from space a la Darkseid. They decided Superman needed buddies too. So they gave us such wonders as SuperGirl, Krypto The Super Dog, and Comet the Super Horse, and Beppo the Super Monkey, and stupid shit like the Bottle City of Kandor :rolleyes:

The retardation levels hit new heights in 80s when they rebooted the whole series just so they could go back and do the same stories all over again, which admittedly was a DC problem in general.

This isn't even including the overhyped, overmarketed, poorly written Death of Superman and Return of Superman along with four spanking new Superman derivative characters including Cyborg Superman and Steel.

Superman was a character best left to a bygone era when he was beating up Nazis. Ever since then, he's just become more and more retarded.

And the spit curl is just GAY.You have some good points but the idea of Superman is solid. The newer Superman & Justice League cartoons do a good job of updating him and ditching the lamer parts of the mythos.

[Hastur T. Fannon]

"These are my cinderblocks. There are many like them, but these ones are mine.

I really, really wish I had the time and enthusiasm to rework the Rifleman's Creed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rifleman%27s_Creed) at this point

"My cinderblocks, without me, are useless." - not bad, but broad satirical vistas are not opening up to me :(

He has the lamest Rogue's Gallery with the exception of a few like Luthor or Brainiac.

Sorry, but Flash? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Flash_enemies). The Eel? Thinker? The Fiddler? Pied Piper? Mirror Master? The fucking Rival?

And the spit curl is just GAY.

This I can't argue with

[Varaj]

You might enjoy watching your heroes get their ass handed to them by some guy in a Big Boy costume but most people enjoy it when their heroes win.

See Superman isn't a hero. A hero has to rise above and overcome a challenge. Superman doesn't have challenges he can't be a hero any more than god can be a hero. A hero has to have a chance to fail.

[Northcott]

See Superman isn't a hero. A hero has to rise above and overcome a challenge. Superman doesn't have challenges he can't be a hero any more than god can be a hero. A hero has to have a chance to fail.

The myths of many cultures would seem to differ with you. Failure's also been worked into the storyline many times.

Jeebus. You guys would be so much better at this if any of you actually knew what you were talking about. :(

I wonder how many of you are Batman fanbois?

[TiQuinn]

Sorry, but Flash? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Flash_enemies). The Eel? Thinker? The Fiddler? Pied Piper? Mirror Master? The fucking Rival?



The Flash has a great Rogue's Gallery! Hell, they're even called the Rogues Gallery officially!

They should have been and were for many years just the pits. Stupid and silly concepts one and all. Then the Flash writers got smart and embraced the fact that a lot of them were kind of second rate and rewrote them as a team, part comedy relief/part real threat. And it worked awesome. Don't know if they still write that way or not, but the Rogues' Gallery was a great part of the Flash comic for awhile.

[TiQuinn]

With some points yes, with some points, no. If you really want a serious discussion on it, feel free to bring it into the proper forum and I'll blather on about the character. Otherwise I'll leave the rants to run their course.

So far yours is the best. Now if we could get one that combined Varaj's bile and your depth, we'd have a winner!


http://www.kaytastrophe.com/vb/showthread.php?t=560

So let's hear it! ;)

[GreyOne]

Really when it comes to Superman, all you have to say is:

He's no Captain America.

Game, set and match, right there.

[TiQuinn]

Really when it comes to Superman, all you have to say is:

He's no Captain America.

Game, set and match, right there.

Captain America, FUCK YEAH! :D

[Varaj]

The myths of many cultures would seem to differ with you. Failure's also been worked into the storyline many times.

Oh really?


Jeebus. You guys would be so much better at this if any of you actually knew what you were talking about. :(

Not with out coming up with super lame crap.


I wonder how many of you are Batman fanbois?

Batman, Spiderman, Daredevil. The closer to an actual person a super hero is the better.

[Hastur T. Fannon]

Batman

And cue Ed's rant on Batman being an adolescent power fantasy :)

[Varaj]

And cue Ed's rant on Batman being an adolescent power fantasy :)

Sure he is. He is also an adult power fantasy. Isn't that what super heroes are? He is a Mary Sue all the way. But at least he is a somewhat human power fantasy, unlike SuperIrimdonkeysman.

[Hastur T. Fannon]

But at least he is a somewhat human power fantasy, unlike SuperIrimdonkeysman.

Wrong.

Superman stories are all about the character's limits. Either physical limits on his powers or being restricted by his chosen role as a hero (having to do the Right Thing all the time)

Heck, how many Sups stories are about him losing his powers or about putting him in a situation where they don't do any good

Batman doesn't choose to be a hero. It's a psychological limitation

Oh yeah, take a look at the picture below. Can you imagine Batman in this picture? That's why Superman will always be the superior icon

[Freedom Canadian]

Heck, how many Sups stories are about him losing his powers or about putting him in a situation where they don't do any good


Well, yeah, authors have a choice between that, kryptonite or having villains who cannot threaten him at all.

The dude can go back in time, fer chrissake ! :D

[Varaj]

Wrong.

Superman stories are all about the character's limits. Either physical limits on his powers or being restricted by his chosen role as a hero (having to do the Right Thing all the time)

Heck, how many Sups stories are about him losing his powers or about putting him in a situation where they don't do any good

Like I said it takes lame ass plots to give him a challenge.


Batman doesn't choose to be a hero. It's a psychological limitation
Huh, Batman isn't a hero?


Oh yeah, take a look at the picture below. Can you imagine Batman in this picture? That's why Superman will always be the superior icon

I don't think Superman fits either.

[GreyOne]

Gentlmen!


Can we all agree that Captain America is awesome!?

[Northcott]

Gentlmen!


Can we all agree that Captain America is awesome!?

I used to have one of those Mego Captain America dolls/action figures back in the 70's. One of my favourite toys. Had a big, fat full colour collection of old Kirby WWII Cap stories, too, that I'd read by flashlight when my parents thought I was asleep. Cap rocked. Didn't need to be a Yankee to dig the Captain.

That said, I was still ecstatic when I discovered Captain Canuck. ;)

[Hastur T. Fannon]

Huh, Batman isn't a hero?

He's a hero because he has to be. He's driven to it - it's his obsession. All these years and he's still trying to save his parents

Superman gets up every morning and chooses to be a superhero. That's the difference

[Varaj]

He's a hero because he has to be. He's driven to it - it's his obsession. All these years and he's still trying to save his parents

Superman gets up every morning and chooses to be a superhero. That's the difference

Bah Batman could choose to get therapy and take some anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. :p

The only thing Superman chooses to do is feltch goats.

PS Did folks know that goatse is Superman?

[Martin]

I was drinking an avacado/berry protein shake when I read this. A thick one. Berry seeds hurt when they're lodged in the sinuses. :expressionless:

I was drinking chocolate milk. I had enough sense to tilt the bottle away from my mouth when I snorted.

[Northcott]

I was drinking chocolate milk. I had enough sense to tilt the bottle away from my mouth when I snorted.

Not only does avacado and berries feel distinctly uncomfortable, as it makes an exceptionally thick shake, but it comes out a viscous, pale green. Ew.

[Limper]

Not only does avacado and berries feel distinctly uncomfortable, as it makes an exceptionally thick shake, but it comes out a viscous, pale green. Ew.

Sounds like syphilis... why do you have it up your nose?

[Martin]

Sounds like syphilis... why do you have it up your nose?

Solidarity. Kryptonite is green and hurts Superman. Avocadoberry shakes are green and hurt Northcott.

[Northcott]

Thank God it was only a diet Coke this time.

But lime diet Coke! There may be something to Martin's green theory after all...

[Martin]

Thank God it was only a diet Coke this time.

But lime diet Coke! There may be something to Martin's green theory after all...

If you're drinking lime Diet Coke, you must like being hurt. Diet Coke with a slice of lime, on the other hand, is rather nice.

[Northcott]

If you're drinking lime Diet Coke, you must like being hurt. Diet Coke with a slice of lime, on the other hand, is rather nice.

No calories, and enough caffeine to keep me awake on a work jag. I chug it so that I don't really notice the taste. I lost my taste for all pop years ago. Bleagh.

[TiQuinn]

No calories, and enough caffeine to keep me awake on a work jag. I chug it so that I don't really notice the taste. I lost my taste for all pop years ago. Bleagh.

Chugging soda? BLECH. The carbonation would make me puke.

[Northcott]

Thunderous belches indeed. No puke.

[NRG]

I couldn't give less of shit about Superman. That said, nobody has lodged this random complaint against your so-called rant. This:

cunt felching asshole

is a weak jab. It's much more foul to be an asshole-felching cunt. As I learned from a too-extensive discussion of a "purity test," tasting your own semen from a chick's cooze is the least emasculating way to taste semen.

Plus, to put on my punctuation facist hat (nazis stick to grammar), you didn't hyphenate "cunt-felching". Nobody else brought that up, now did they? This is what they, uhh, keep me around for, to almost end a sentence with a preposition.

NRG

[Northcott]

...

...Dude, you gave that way too much thought. Bleagh!

[TiQuinn]

Watching Superman Returns on HBO right now.

Wow, I'm astounded by how much this movie sucked.

Bryan Singer apparently got Superman and Jesus Christ confused when he was making this movie.

[BOZ]

can't say i'm missing out on not having seen that one yet... i suppose it's one of those "eventually i'll see it" flicks though.

[Northcott]

Watching Superman Returns on HBO right now.

Wow, I'm astounded by how much this movie sucked.

Bryan Singer apparently got Superman and Jesus Christ confused when he was making this movie.

Only one of so very many things that were fudamentally wrong in that movie.

[TiQuinn]

Only one of so very many things that were fudamentally wrong in that movie.


And yet....that is the way Superman is viewed nowadays by the majority of people. Just a big ol' Jesus Christ in a Red and Blue suit.

[Northcott]

And yet....that is the way Superman is viewed nowadays by the majority. Just a big ol' Jesus Christ in a Red and Blue suit.

And I automatically started humming "Jesus Christ, Superstar". There's comedy in that. :D

Batman finally got his big 'fix' from the 1960's image in the 1980's. It's about time that somebody did the same for Superman.

I suppose I'd better get cracking.

[Sobek]

Dude, you gave that way too much thought. Bleagh!

True, but I finally looked up what the word "felching" means.

Wow, that is gross.

[The Winslow]

And I automatically started humming "Jesus Christ, Superstar". There's comedy in that. :D

Superman, Superman, who are you, what have you sacrificed?
Superman Superstar, do you think you're what they you are?

[Northcott]

True, but I finally looked up what the word "felching" means.

Wow, that is gross.


I had somebody explain it to me when I was working in an office several years ago. I didn't believe her at first, figuring she was just pulling my leg. I'm still hoping it's just some kind of urban myth.

[The Winslow]

No, no, it's not.


Sex slang has some truly disgusting words, and I don't speak just about those that are deliberately made up to be disgusting, like santorum (intended, as everybody remembers, as an insult to the senator Santorum).