Advice needed...

[Harry]

This i

[FeatsofClay]

Bad girlfriends don't make you give up sex.

Bad drivers don't make you stay off the roads.

Bad cooks don't make you quit eating.

Bad gamers shouldn't make you quit gaming.

Just don't fuck her drive near them, eat their food or game with them.

[Ascarel]

Is that group the only people you can game with? For god's sake don't quit gaming, just don't play with him! :)

[Critter]

Uh, has this come up between the two of you in actual conversation?

It just, seems a little weird... no reason to quit gaming though.

Does the rest of the group know about it?

[Harry]

What

[Ascarel]

I say you have to come out with this issue to your fellow gamers in the group, especially when the guy is not around. Not saying a thing and keeping your anger pent up inside will create unnecessary tension for you and one day or another you will explode anyway. Better solve the matter now, I say. I understand he's not the DM anymore, so try to convince the others to throw him out on the rationale that he's a source of tension. I would guess that between him and the guy, your friends would pick you over him. Right? :)

[Harry]

Like

[Ascarel]

Okay, then you have hard work to do. Personally I don't game with people I don't like. Never. In your position, I'd really petition the group to go elsewhere than that guy's house, and throw him out. A cool table and some miniatures aren't worth more than cohesive gaming group, are they?

[Eliezer]

Harry,

Concerning the picture: A DIY DMCA take down notice (http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-make-a-DMCA-Take-Down-notice/) to the ISP should suffice. I may not like the DMCA, but it does have it's useful parts and is designed to protect in exactly this type of situation.

Concerning the asshat who is pushing your buttons... Sounds like the asshat doesn't like you and is socially savvy enough to try to push your buttons in an attempt to make you look like the drama queen. There is only one way around this. You pretty much have to step back, get control of your own emotions and evaluate what has happened from the perspective of others. You see things differently than other members of the group and how they perceive you makes a huge difference. So figure out if you're looking like the drama queen here. I'm going to assume because of what you've posted about others' perceptions that how you've reacted to the asshat has been perceived as introducing drama. So sounds like that has to change.

Here's some things to check out (http://www.confidencecenter.com/art12.htm)

difficult people (http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People)

ignoring folks (http://www.wikihow.com/Ignore-People)

You may be doing nothing wrong, but asshats do provide an opportunity to learn new social skills and learn how to deal with difficult people. If you're unwilling to give up the group choices are:

a) Learn to deal with this guy effectively
b) Figure out how to get the others to toss him out

[FeatsofClay]

socially savvy enough to try to push your buttons in an attempt to make you look like the drama queen.

Wil nailed!

You know this guy? :)

[Eliezer]

Wil nailed!

You know this guy? :)

Nope, but Harry's good at describing the situation :D

[FeatsofClay]

Nope, but Harry's good at describing the situation :D

Will is excatly that guy. Pick someone, pick on somthing about them and then offer to be the solution to the problem they represent.

It is the only tack I have seen him take with anybody. His MO is to create drama and appear to be the solution to it.

Now wes is , I believe, the only other person in the group I can speak to. EVERYTHING sloughs off Wes like water off a duck's back. Harry, however, has an overdevelopped sense of justice and a white knight complex (Yes, I am calling Mr Ketlle black!) thus providing Wil with the perfect foil.

He tried this shit physically with me. The high school shoulder bump/door squeeze/stand too close thing. One of the good tings about the Ex was she had this ability to throw me a smile acroiss the room that SCREAMED "don't be...you". :) She saw it happening and helped. At the end of the FIRST night we gamed together we got in the car and she pointed out how proud she was of me for not taking the bait.

I long to game again. If I were to return to Memphis I would choose not to game rather than game with him.

[Harry]

[Q

[Eliezer]

I don't know where to go with this now. That's all good advice, E, but there are three primary personalities driving this 9 person group, and that's me, William and Wes, and Wes as Mark says stays above it all. William is taking advantage of me in every way and the only solution I can see it just walking away from it all. Which would leave me just as miserable as I already am.

You and Mark have clarified the situation very well.

I'm going to offer some straight up advice on this one that may not apply given the specifics. If it doesn't tell me to shove it, if it works out then cool-cool.

Sometimes the best defense is a strong offense. It sounds like Wil is just a bully type who never grew up and needs to antagonize someone to get his kicks or to feel good about himself.

Get in contact with Wil's last victim and some others in the group who may be sympathetic to the plight. Enlist them in a cause of forming a new gaming group where Wil's not invited. Then talk to Wes and clearly, dispassionately, and without rancor or bitterness explain the situation and how the problem is best solved by getting rid of Wil. Explain how others feel this way and the fun of gaming is reduced by this bully. Wil may have a great table and nice miniatures, but you game to have fun with people (otherwise you'd be at computer games). Ask Wes what he thinks you ought to do. If Wes has no suggestion or appropriate suggestion then suggest that you quietly close things down and start a new game (use 4th ed as an excuse) at a new house and invite only those individuals you really want to have come.

If that simply isn't feasible then you do have to make some hard choices, but most people are very reasonable and getting rid of this Wil character should not be impossible unless he's gotten most of the group under his thumb. Even then, time and patience will work for you. If you have to leave, form a smaller group with the Wil outcasts and it should lead to getting more and more people including Wes.

[FeatsofClay]

Add Eliezers bit with an explanation to Wes about how many times Wil has had false-start campaigns and his tendency to play a character for 1-3 nights and he will see.

[Harry]

o

[FeatsofClay]

Jesus, we've averaged at best ten sessions each campaign before William implodes. As for your last suggest, Eliezer, that was kinda what I had in mind when I wrote above about trying to contact Steve, the last victim.

And Mark, don't know if I mentioned this, but Ashley made the last game. He's not going to be around for long at all, and seemed a little unhappy about having William on board. There's also talk of Tod Underhill turning up, which I know would thrill you, but I don't think he cares for William either.

Next you see Ashley and Kat pass my best. I assume their child is charming and beautiful and shiny and graceful. Dad is damned witty and mom is a ballerina....