Pardon my absence

[Space Cadet B^3]

I haven't been as participatory lately because I'm feeling a bit of a disconnect with myself. I don't know if it comes from working 10 hours a day on the computer at the temp job, or if it's the uncertainty of where I'm going to live once my lease is up, or some other sundry thing, but I've been staying off line a little more of late, I didn't even turn on my PC for 4 days last week.

For those of you whom I owe work, I will get it to you as soon as I can, and I promise I will start contributing to the doodle contests and other threads as well. This disconnect has made its way felt in my artistic life as well, maybe this is why I'm such a mental zombie at the moment.

As it stands there's a battle brewing about this upcoming move, between my head and my heart. Doing what I have to because it's the responsible thing to do, or doing what I feel will be better for me in the long run. Love or money, love or money.... even if it's not romantic love, it is the feeling of being loved that lures me away from the plans I'd laid.

"Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An' if I stay it will be double"

--The Clash.

[Harry]

Dude. Four days? That's... that's just sick. :boggle:

[Cat of Ulthar]

Hang in there mate... You know we are there for you even when you are incommunicado for a bit. Though I appreciate you telling us what's going on.

I can't help you with your decisions, I know I would always choose love over money... but one needs to feed one's cats as well.

All the best triple B. :hug:

[Dawnstar]

Hang in there BBB. You have made it this far, so just trust your gut okay.

[Space Cadet B^3]

Not that I think anyone can answer my dilemmna for me, but here's what I'm facing.

Do I stay where I am, lonely and with a job that's not yet permanent and get a crap apartment to stay in a town I'd love to leave behind, or do I go for the fresh start in small town Kansas with an old friend and her family.

At the very least they have a spare room, whereas my first goal of starting over I was really worried about imposing upon people while looking for a job. Although I won't be in K.C. with all my peeps.

My co-workers tell me they haven't seen me as happy as I've been since this beautiful dillemna came up. It was really good to see my old friend and her family again, even if she is in Iola, KS.

[Ink Bleeder]

Do you need to be in a larger town to get a job, BBB?

My love lives 40 miles from the city I'm in, and at times, it seems like 4000 miles. Gas now costs so much that his new job in the city does not cover the cost of his commute. Moving to the city wouldn't help, since his kids are still in the small town 40 miles away, and he'd be driving there just as often. But he can't get a better job in the small town, because there ARE no jobs. His family and friends are all either underemployed in the small town, or facing the same problem. I'd consider this STRONGLY before moving.

[FeatsofClay]

There is only one right decision. You should have a decent guess at what it si in 35-40 years.

Follow your path, old man.

[Space Cadet B^3]

That's just it, I can't seem to get a single call back for jobs in Kansas City, and I'm in Topeka, a little over 45 minutes away.

If I'm doing the small town, I'll just be finding whatever part time gig I can get to cover minimum bills, and pimping my freelance identity to make the difference. Cost of living will be lower but I'll be doing most of my freelance work via the internet.

[Ink Bleeder]

That's just it, I can't seem to get a single call back for jobs in Kansas City, and I'm in Topeka, a little over 45 minutes away.

If I'm doing the small town, I'll just be finding whatever part time gig I can get to cover minimum bills, and pimping my freelance identity to make the difference. Cost of living will be lower but I'll be doing most of my freelance work via the internet.

Well, heck, there you go!