Why the guilt?

[Atropine Mama]

I noticed in both the transportation thread and the drug usage thread that some folks are almost apologetic about owning/driving a car/van, and about not wanting to use drugs, respectively. Why do we have to have guilt about things that are personal choices? I'm just curious, and not throwing accusations around, and maybe I'm projecting. Well, most likely I'm projecting. :D

If I need a minivan because I've got three kids, why do I feel guilt for not bicycling for my groceries?

If I've never tried any drugs, why would I need to justify the reasoning?

Does anyone on the boards feel this stuff?

[FeatsofClay]

what made me actually start the drug thread was a conversation with aneighbor mentioning that a person used to make excuses for knowing someone who had sex or used drugs and now one makes excuses of one doesn't. Odd, huh?

[Atropine Mama]

That's just fucking spooky. I guess I'm not so far off the mark, maybe? :boggle:

[FeatsofClay]

That's just fucking spooky. I guess I'm not so far off the mark, maybe? :boggle:


Being the Mark I would say you are right on.

[Varaj]

In general, I believe, people tend to apologize for being what is outside the "norm".

[Atropine Mama]

Being the Mark I would say you are right on.

:heh:

In general, I believe, people tend to apologize for being what is outside the "norm".

But in the US most people have cars/vans/trucks.

[Varaj]

But in the US most people have cars/vans/trucks.
I believe the perceived norm is to be eco-friendly tree hugger. :)

[Atropine Mama]

Oh. Cheshire and TH seem to have it pegged. What is the perceived norm of this board? Are we all eco friendly tree hugging drug users? :D Is this userbase liberal in leaning?

[Bregh]

.

[Lady Fury]

I tend to feel guilty about a lot of things. I think it's just in my nature. Plus my parents did a damn good job of making feel guilty about nearly everything in my life. I'm working on it.

As for the perceived image of the board, I think you nailed it. Unfortunately, I always fall outside the norm. See there I go again being apologetic. :o

[Kyllikki]

Interesting.

I like being weird. Being normal is sort of boring ;)

I feel guilt about things like taking too many breaks at work, or not doing chores or being a good housekeeper. I feel a little guilty that i haven't gotten my bike repaired, but since the ride to work is much less safe in the new building than the last, that guilt is minor in the grand scheme of things.

And i feel guilty i haven't called my parents in a while ;)

[Dawnstar]

I do not feel guilty because I have not tried drugs, nor do I feel guilt about owning a car.

I do agree that if you are in a group where people are eco friendly and you go out and buy a none hybraid SUV then you might feel a little quilty.

Interesting to think about.

[Name Lips]

People are sick of being preached to. They hope that by inserting an apology or some sort of (false) declaration of guilt, they can avoid the bother of being preached to by fanatics. One little disclaimer, and you can avoid a rant. It seems like a small sacrifice to make until, as you noticed, a dozen or more people start making the same exact disclaimer multiple times in one conversation.

Perhaps people assumed that because one person made the disclaimer that it was important for them to make it too. The first guilt-pretender set the tone, and others followed suit.

[Ergeheilalt]

For the drug thing, I always got the impression that I was a party pooper for not getting into it.

I remember when I was 15 or 16, hanging out with my friends playing D&D at an overnight extravaganza. One fella brought out a bong made out of a hamster-tube and an old cigar box full of weed. With no car and no desire to call home and ask for a ride, I just excused myself to the den to read the Saturday paper while they did their thing. I was derided a bit, but it was mostly me feeling like a jerk for not participating that made me impose an exile on myself.

[Xavier Lang]

Drug Use - I have lost track of the number of times someone has questioned, commented on, or tried to give me shit for not drinking alcohol. None of my actual friends have, but many others have. I can express those reasons to people and get them to leave me alone, but there is usually a need for me to justify why I don't drink.

Vehicles - There is a current in popular culture to be green right now. That means expressing the desire that you would walk/ride the bus, whatever if it was just "possible" and then going ahead and doing whatever you want anyway.
;)

Most people around here, if they actually put a dollar amount on there time, would discover that driving is a reasonable, economical, solution. That may not be true everywhere in the world. In Kansas everything is spread out because land is so cheap and no barriers are nearby to prevent expansion in any direction. It would cost me an hour or 2 a day to do anything other than drive a car to work. I carpool, but the carpool consumes enough time and gas getting to the carpool location it probably isn't very economical. It has social benefits though that make it worth it to me.

[Edena_of_Neith]

(solemn look)

In my experience, guilt is something victimizers are good at pushing off on those they are victimizing.
In other words, the victimizer is not the bad person, the victim is the bad person.

It is ghastly, sickening, how many people I have seen fall into the bandwagon of blaming the victim. What did the *victim* do, ask they, that bad things were done to him or her? What did *they* do, to bring the assault upon them?

Professional victimizers know full well this phonomenon, and exploit it to the full.

Tne *answer* to this phonomenon, is to remember where the real guilt lies. The real guilt lies with the *victimizer.*

If a woman is raped, the guilt lies with the *rapist.*

Cars that get 100 miles to the gallon were possible decades ago. It's an open secret, and everyone knows it. But we are obliged to buy vehicles that get poor gas mileage relative to their weight (regardless of their size.)
Whose fault is that? It is the fault of the *car companies, big oil, and the government.*

If our planet is being raped of natural resources, that is the fault of the *big economic interests.* It is not the fault of the American (or Canadian, or French, or any other) People.

[Space Cadet B^3]

I've received a fair bit of guff (and sometimes rightfully so) for my drug use on this board and earlier incarnations.

So the apologies come almost reflexively, like a hand covering my nuts when a ball is headed in my direction.

I have pushed my drug use back to recreational levels and am not allowing it to control my life the way I was last year. Having lived with an alcoholic for a time, I don't really drink much, but I enjoy toking it up, and it looks like I'm just going to need to stop apologizing for it, I'm my own man. I believe in myself, and have been contemplating trashing my username because it is not me any more.

[Harry]

Oh jeez... All along I've thought this was a thread about quilting.

Guilt? Why guilt? I'm the son of a Southern Baptist deacon/gospel singer and a church secretary. I live in the American South. I work at a grocery store. And I'm painfully, rather excruciatingly, white. In this day and age, I was born to be an apologist.

Sometimes I would rather pick up everything and move to a more liberal area or country, yes.

[Hatter]

I feel guilty for not having responded to this sooner. I also feel guilty about posting a spurious comment in a serious thread.

I don't feel guilty about not taking recreational drugs, I don't have a problem with people who do, but I'm neurotic about being in control of my actions and any perceived change to that is undesirable.

I don't feel guilty about driving a car, there is no viable alternative for me at this time.

I do feel guilty about mistreating friends and not working harder to advance my relationship. I thank my mother for instilling strong Catholic guilt without all the pesky religion to go along with it.

So there and stuff.

[doc]

I don't feel guilty about a damn thing, I drive a truck to and for work, I don't do drugs because I've outgrown the need to and it's stupd to me to use them with the kind of work I do(besides they cost too much). I like my beer (but I've cut down), my BBQ and the recreational roll in the hay with a willing (and legal) girl of the female persuasion. I love country music and like homemade wine and if you don't like that pfft

[Snatch]

...girl of the female persuasion...

Are there any other kind? ;)

Oh - and no guilt here for never doing drugs, hardly drinking alcohol or owning a vehicle.

[doc]

Are there any other kind? ;)

Oh - and no guilt here for never doing drugs, hardly drinking alcohol or owning a vehicle.

Ever been to San Fransisco ?

[Name Lips]

I also feel a bit guilty in sex threads, when it comes out that my online persona as a hippy-liberal is marred by having had only one sex partner.

At least I have premarital sex in my favor. That counts for something, right?

[Snatch]

At least I have premarital sex in my favor. That counts for something, right?

That depends - what does Emerald say? ;)

[Snatch]

Ever been to San Fransisco ?

No. Should I go?

[doc]

No. Should I go?

Let your freak flag fly