The "Talk"...

[Tetsubo]

Eliezer's thread got me thinking about the "Talk" that most early teens have concerning human sexuality. How did your's go?

My Father gave me mine. It was quite possibly the most stumbling, incoherent "speech" I've ever heard. And that includes him being dead drunk a good deal of the time. Though he was stone cold sober when he gave me his spiel. If humanity had followed my Father's "explanation" the species would have died out millennia ago... Of course by the time he got around to talking about sex I was already active... and frankly I probably had a better sex life then he did...

[Space Cadet B^3]

I knew what it was all about but had no experience with it. So I decided I'd better ask so my parents didn't worry about me not asking when I was 12 or 13.

My dad started out by explaining the biological/scientific side of things, then went somewhere and dug up this massive foil wrapped ball of stuff, he carefully unwrapped it and pulled out these keychains with single slides of porn from the 70s.

Swear to god there were giant afro interracial ones, Asian girls, some light bondage ones, it was crazy. Professor Ed was a perv! lol

[Hastur T. Fannon]

I don't remember being given "The Talk". As far as I can see, I must have been drip-fed information as I asked questions and showed curiosity

[Hatter]

I was given the talk when I was a like 11 or 12 or so, fat lot of good it did me.

[there_is_no_bob]

Where did I come from? (http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0230015492/ref=pd_bbs_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197779944&sr=1-3)

What's happening to me? (http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Me-guide-puberty/dp/0818403128/ref=pd_sim_b_1)

...I have no idea when. I can't really remember not having access to 'em.

[Trainz]

I never gave "the talk" to my daughter or son. Never had to. When they were curious about stuff, we just told them the truth right then and there. Or sometimes at diner we talk about it.

It *doesn't* have to be a big deal. If you approach it like any other subject, it isn't.

[Sobek]

Never received "the talk".

For the most part, I'm planning on doing the same thing as Trainz with my kids. Except for the tampons talk. The queen of the Nile has been emphatically told that, when the girls start to bleed, dad really don't even want to know.

[Trainz]

Never received "the talk".

For the most part, I'm planning on doing the same thing as Trainz with my kids. Except for the tampons talk. The queen of the Nile has been emphatically told that, when the girls start to bleed, dad really don't even want to know.

It's amazing the ammount of things (yes, sometimes good) your kids learn from their peers.

My daughter took care of all that by herself. She never was embarassed to ask a question to us if need be.

See, the trick is to give your kids some credit. They aren't simpletons that must be guided through every single thing they encounter. If you raise them to be self-sufficient, they will come to you if and when they need help, and they will figure out the rest by themselves. Teaches them to be mature.

And I am flattered by your comment. :D

[Sobek]

See, the trick is to give your kids some credit. They aren't simpletons that must be guided through every single thing they encounter. If you raise them to be self-sufficient, they will come to you if and when they need help, and they will figure out the rest by themselves. Teaches them to be mature.

Ain't that the truth. My seven-year-old bought herself a human body book -- the kind with photos of icky stuff in it, but still aimed at kids. She spent quite a bit of time looking at the nine months of pregnancy spread. I'm not sure what all info it had in the text, but she should be half-way aware already.

[Tetsubo]

I never gave "the talk" to my daughter or son. Never had to. When they were curious about stuff, we just told them the truth right then and there. Or sometimes at diner we talk about it.

It *doesn't* have to be a big deal. If you approach it like any other subject, it isn't.

Well that might have worked if my family had ever talked about anything. But my father was a raging, psychotic drunk and my Mother was a passive-aggressive enabler... so dinners at my house were quite, awkward affairs... though often tasty as my Father is an excellent cook... Thankfully he is sober now, though not until long after my parents divorce in 1978...

[Trainz]

Well that might have worked if my family had ever talked about anything. But my father was a raging, psychotic drunk

And let me guess... he was a smoker? :tongue:

[Pigs in Space]

Zookeeper!!!

THOSE MONKEYS ARE KILLING EACH OTHER!

[Special K]

My talk was about three lines long, and began with my dad saying "I found an empty condom rapper in your room." Needless to say, no explanation of the mechanics of sex as it was too late for that, and about two sentences about being responsible. It was a little awkward and never brought up again.

[Brynja]

I got mine rather like Hastur did- a slow drip.

The only "Talk" I got was by my father when I was 18 and going to college. It was the "all of us men are filthy disgusting pigs, no matter what we say to you- we just wanna have sex with you." I wanted to die.

[Tetsubo]

And let me guess... he was a smoker? :tongue:

Actually both of my parents smoked at one time. Though my Father had quit prior to my birth. My Mother smoked when I was a child for a short time.

[Freedom Canadian]

My family's catholic. We don't talk about those things.

Thank god for sex ed at school. :)

[Tetsubo]

My family's catholic. We don't talk about those things.

Thank god for sex ed at school. :)

If Catholics don't talk about these things... how do you get little Catholics?

[Freedom Canadian]

If Catholics don't talk about these things... how do you get little Catholics?

Trial and error.

[Tetsubo]

Trial and error.

You might tend to rack up a lot of sin points that way though...

Isn't there only one "official" sexual position for the Catholics? I left the Church at fourteen, so I guess I missed out on this part...

[Freedom Canadian]

You might tend to rack up a lot of sin points that way though...

Being catholic is all about racking up sin points. You gotta have something to confess and feel bad about doing, after all.

[Bregh]

.

[Eliezer]

I got the talk. I was probably too young at the time and didn't understand any of it.

[Tetsubo]

Being catholic is all about racking up sin points. You gotta have something to confess and feel bad about doing, after all.

I do know that once a Catholic girl says "Yes" they can be absolute freaks...

[Lady Fury]

My family's catholic. We don't talk about those things.

Thank god for sex ed at school. :)

That's how it was for me as well. Hell my mom didn't bother to tell me and my sister about periods so when we had ours we freaked out. We didn't have sex ed class. I went to private Catholic school. I think I figured out where a tampon went when I was 15.:o I didn't realize there was a hole there. (Yes I was very sheltered.)

[Tetsubo]

That's how it was for me as well. Hell my mom didn't bother to tell me and my sister about periods so when we had ours we freaked out. We didn't have sex ed class. I went to private Catholic school. I think I figured out where a tampon went when I was 15.:o I didn't realize there was a hole there. (Yes I was very sheltered.)

See, that right there was criminal. Failing to explain basic human anatomy and reproductive reality is crazy. I hope that you've recovered...

[Lady Fury]

See, that right there was criminal. Failing to explain basic human anatomy and reproductive reality is crazy. I hope that you've recovered...

I was embarrassed because I didn't know much about periods at all until I finally asked a friend who then told me how to use a tampon.

My sister got pregnant at the age of 15. :grey: She had both of her kids before the age of 18. I put partial blame on my parents for not being more open about sex talks. Hell my mom had a hard time talking to me about having kids finally. I had my first at 28.

I am already beginning basic anatomy talks with my 6yr old. My kids will not be raised like I was when it comes to sex ed.

[Brynja]

Was any of what you learned picked up on the streets? I don't mean that in a hur hur crass way.

[GhostWolf69]

I haven't really gotten this far in my biography yet but here's the low-down:

I never really had the "talk" per se. In Sweden the biology behind it all, the scientifics and how-to-use a condom and all that is taught in school... when you're about 14-15.

Sure the class room is full of red faces and giggles but it gets the job done.

The only couple of comments I ever got was along the lines of:

"You are using protection right?"

"Yes mom... but we're not having sex... yet..."

"Yeah, but if you do you have to protect yourself, otherwise she'll get pregnant... you know that right?"

"I know."

"Ok."

My dad is a complicated nature... he never touched "real"-sex part at all, but he did ask me once at the dinner table with my younger siblings present:

"Are you the knuckle head who stole my skinny mags?"

I panicked...

"Maybe?"

"Yeah it has to be... cause I don't think your sister is interested and your brother is too young to be. Could you be so kind and make sure they come back into my drawer somehow?"

"Erh... ok" Ears pulsing so hot and red I tought they'd spontaneously combust.

"Good." and more as an after thought he adds; "Dammit boy, you're fifteen years old now, you can buy your own porn magasines if you want them, you don't have to take mine. Grow up."

I don't know if my family is dysfunctional or not... I honestly don't.

/wolf

[Lady Fury]

Was any of what you learned picked up on the streets? I don't mean that in a hur hur crass way.

My first real boyfriend taught me what my body was all about. I don't want any of my kids to learn that way. I mean it wasn't bad or anything but having a 16yr old boy teaching a 16yr old girl about her own body isn't an ideal way to learn. I guess everything I learned was technically picked up "off the streets". I didn't actually study human sexuality until I went to college and it was part of my biological requirements.

[Atropine Mama]

I don't know if my family is dysfunctional or not... I honestly don't.

/wolf

:D Sounds to me like your family is far more functional than a family who avoids any sort of discussion involving the human body because it's "impure". I think your parents did good, wolf!

My experience was startlingly similar to Enelya's. No biological education whatsoever, in fact, when the school started their sex ed my parents opted out of it and I went to the library instead. When I got my first period I thought I was injured somehow and bleeding to death. My mom found me crying in the bathtub, put a box of pads on the counter and walked out after telling me I'd be fine and I should just read the box. Still, it took me until I had sex for the first time to realize I had a separate orifice there, as I'd previously believed I bled from where I peed. The diagrams on the box of pads made no sense to me, I just thought it was all the same place. So, having sex was a shocker. When the boy and I later broke up and I was heartbroken, my mother asked if we'd had sex and being the idiot I was at that age I actually trusted her. I told her yes, and she told me quick as lightning that I was going to hell and I deserved this suffering.

It's been a long road to sexual recovery from there.

I studied up on anatomy and sex ed on my own after I left home. I'd rejected my mother's ideas on sex wholesale at that point, and most of my experience had been with a very caring, wonderful guy named Max. I got very little info on the street, per se, but did discuss anything and everything with Max. Not with my girlfriends, because I went to a Catholic school and for god's anyone who was having sex was rumored to be pregnant at some point and dragged into Sister Louise's office for "counseling".

[Atropine Mama]

Oh, and Daughter Thinks It's Time To Have Sex Talk With Parents (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38548).

:D

[Eliezer]

"Good." and more as an after thought he adds; "Dammit boy, you're fifteen years old now, you can buy your own porn magasines if you want them, you don't have to take mine. Grow up."


:lol:

Holy crap, diet coke on the keyboard moment. That's beautiful. Someday, I'm going to tell someone, "Damnit Father O'Brian, you're 28 years old now, you can buy your own porn magazines if you want them. You don't have to take mine. Make sure you take off the collar before you go down to the porn shop. Oh, and we get the 'priestly discount', just mention my name."

[GhostWolf69]

My current problem is my 4 year old daughter asking where her younger brother came from... She knows he was inside her mother for a long good while... she knows he got out through the vagina... what she's curious about is; "Who did he get in there in the first place..."

I was raised in the early 70's and I had a childrens book on the subject that was quite detailed, so I realised I might have mislead you guys, and it might have sounded like age 14-15 in school was my first confrontation witht he subject... Oh no, it wasn't.

I think I was exposed to Pron the first time when I was ten or eleven. Finding soggy mags in the bushes somewhere and all redfaced and excited flicked through them with out any reflection wahtsoever that they might be full of germs or even worse substances left there by the previous owner. That's kids for you I guess.

We hit the jack-pot one afternoon at a friends house when we forgot to turn off the VCR after watching a James Bond movie his brother had taped (The Spy Who Loved Me), after a couple of minutes of static.... there was hard core action on the screen. I can't remember if it was just me and him or if there were other kids present... I think there might have been one or two others there, but we were all paralysed by the moving shapes and grunting noises. I still have some of those images on my retina.

So far I have not told my daughter the sticky details. She knows it is a thing grown-ups do when they love eachother very much. She knows they have to be naked and hold eachother. But that is as far as I got before words ran out.... she's only four... she can wait two more years to find out, can't she? Or is that just a lame excuse?

/wolf

[Black Angel]

I'm sure there would be books out there (like picture books) suitable for that age. I recall having something like 'Where do babies come from?' when I was very young, and I'm pretty sure that was recycled for all us 3 kids. It gives you the real basics suitable for the age group.

[Trainz]

So far I have not told my daughter the sticky details. She knows it is a thing grown-ups do when they love eachother very much. She knows they have to be naked and hold eachother. But that is as far as I got before words ran out.... she's only four... she can wait two more years to find out, can't she?

Now that right there is just plain sick.


:tongue:

[GhostWolf69]

Now that right there is just plain sick.


:tongue:

So's your face. :eyebrow:

/wolf

[Eliezer]

So far I have not told my daughter the sticky details. She knows it is a thing grown-ups do when they love eachother very much. She knows they have to be naked and hold eachother. But that is as far as I got before words ran out.... she's only four... she can wait two more years to find out, can't she? Or is that just a lame excuse?

/wolf

I use the Bernoulli's principle technique in a lot of situation. I had a 5 year old ask me how airplane fly. So I explained Bernoulli's principle in some basic details and talked about lift and a bunch of stuff they didn't understand.

Same thing with kids. Simply explain that Mommies have eggs that they produce and the child grows from that egg after it's fertilized with special cells that daddies produce. Then talk about how the egg grows once fertilized and goes into the Uterus, a special pouch inside her body for growing babies.

Usually with enough details they'll get bored and go on.

If more pressing questions are asked explain that just like the baby comes out through the vagina the special cells (called sperm) are put into the vagina by a boy part called a penis that's designed to eject sperm into the mommy. This process is called sex. It's how most animals make babies.

Kids will usually let you know what they are ready to know if you provide details in the right way :)

[qstor]

As a fourteen year old my mom tried to give it to me, but I told her I got all the information I needed in PE class from my Vietnam Vet gym teacher.

Mike