How I found religion

[Dr_Avalanche]

So I'm on one of many business trips, and I'm eating dinner in the hotel restaurant - usually a quiet and peaceful place which is nice after a long work day. This time however, a family with two children are there eating as well. I say eating in the most liberal definition - not once do I see the kids actually sitting at the table - they're spending the entire time playing tag or something in the restaurant area. They're loud, obnoxious, and I swear I could feel the spit of one of the kids hitting my arm as he ran past me making a locomotive impression. Just as I think "Please God kill them all or I will have to" the couple suddenly pay their bill and get up from the table, just as the kid that ran past me trips and fall down the stairs (just three-four steps, but good enough for me) followed by the loudest howl you can imagine, and suddenly I realized that God does exist, and he's on my side. Now if he could fix my wireless router before I get back from my trip we could really be best buddies. I mean what's the point of being omnipotent if you don't put it to good use?

[Pigs in Space]

At least you're using your prayers to do good in the world.

[Dr_Avalanche]

At least you're using your prayers to do good in the world.

I know! Imagine all the pats on my backs I would have received if the other restaurant guests knew who they had to thank.

[PWD]

I like your god. He's much cooler than the burning bush guy.

[Brynja]

Dr. A....seriously that was hilarious and funny and just downright delicious.

[Dr_Avalanche]

Dr. A....seriously that was hilarious and funny and just downright delicious.

Thanks. My router is still not working though. Got to have a talk, God and I.

[doc]

I like your god. He's much cooler than the burning bush guy.

I like a good fiery bush, good luck with the router and use your hot line to God for good.

[Atropine Mama]

Yeah, Dr. A? You think you're hot shit? Where were you on Halloween this week when the fucking idiot extraordinaire group of trick-or treaters rang our doorbell (on our dark, unlit porch) at 10:30 at night? Half dozen kids and parents standing there mouthbreathing at our front door, and no intervention from you! Some powers you got there, bucky! I had to shove candy up their asses all by myself!

I am a Dr. A Agnostic.

:tongue:

[Dr_Avalanche]

Ah, but see, I'm only God's best buddy, I'm not God. Had you told me, I would have asked him to do something about your problem. I think he was distracted making kids fall in stairs on Halloween. See first post. ;)

[Dr_Avalanche]

Oh, and completely unrelated, there has been an unmarked popemobile hanging around below my apartment window since yesterday, should I be concerned about this?

[doc]

Beware the old white guy in the Hiler Youth outfit, you're stealing his me time with the Big Guy

[Pigs in Space]

Oh, and completely unrelated, there has been an unmarked popemobile hanging around below my apartment window since yesterday, should I be concerned about this?

Sweet dude, I've totally always wanted to ride in one of those things.

[Harry]

Edit:

Bizarre. This ended up in the wrong topic somehow. I must be losing it.

[doc]

Edit:

Bizarre. This ended up in the wrong topic somehow. I must be losing it.

Ask Dr. A to ask God to help you find it, he's like our priest without the whole alter boy thing

[Keeper of Secrets]

Oh, and completely unrelated, there has been an unmarked popemobile hanging around below my apartment window since yesterday, should I be concerned about this?

Perhaps the Church saw this thread and have decided to elect you as the new Pope.

[Northcott]

I like your god. He's much cooler than the burning bush guy.

Dude, if Bush were to burn, you know you'd worship in a heartbeat. ;)

[doc]

If you hear a voice from on high KoS, it's Whirlygig* telling you to take out the garbage.

* ie She Who Must Be Obeyed :)