View Full Version : So that limper doesn't get bored: How dumb is this?
Ancalagon
10-09-2007, 06:39 PM
Hello
So our front door lock is broken (at my appartment) and I call the landlord to complain. A few hours later his daughter shows up to let the locksmith in... whom never shows up.
So we end up talking almost an hour, and the girl is interesting! Studied international affairs, world traveler, knows four languages. Rather attractive too (middle eastern origins, very petite).
Because I'm a giant dork, I don't ask her out. However, the following morning the locksmith does show up, and mucks up the job. The lock is still broken. So I call again and I get her on the phone. She starts apologizing and ranting at the locksmith. I let her vent for a while, then I interrupt her with "There is a silver lining to this you know"
I get a confused silence as an answer and I continue with "would you like to go out for coffee sometimes?" And she said yes.
I'm pretty pleased with myself I actually *did* something of "oh she's nice" and leave it at that. But erm... she's my landlord's daughter. Her parents are from turkey. As far as I know, she's not kinky. This could backfire...
Ancalagon
Lady Fury
10-09-2007, 06:55 PM
I hear foreign chicks are the kinkiest. You should be proud of yourself. Now do the rest of us a favor and find a way to slip a web cam into the date. :D
Pigs in Space
10-09-2007, 07:19 PM
So what if she isn't kinky?
You can have normal sex with her and then apply the pressure for a rent discount.
;)
Pigs in Space
10-09-2007, 07:20 PM
Oh shit, sorry I forgot:
Post pix.
Nearly got my membership terminated there. Phew.
Freedom Canadian
10-09-2007, 07:44 PM
You can have normal sex with her and then apply the pressure for a rent discount.
"My kink is that I like to sleep with women when there's a monetary advantage involved." :)
Northcott
10-09-2007, 09:23 PM
You can always get a new apartment, and regrets are often born out of the things we hesitated to do, rather than the things we had the guts to try.
I don't see where the 'dumb' is in this. :)
Brynja
10-09-2007, 10:09 PM
Obs totally do it, seriously she sounds sweet and right up your alley interest wise. Besides she could be a pervertable, you just never know.
Space Cadet B^3
10-09-2007, 11:31 PM
Ancalagon is Peter Parker?!
Brynja
10-09-2007, 11:35 PM
Yes, yes he is.
Glass
10-10-2007, 12:35 AM
I'm pretty pleased with myself I actually *did* something of "oh she's nice" and leave it at that. But erm... she's my landlord's daughter. Her parents are from turkey. As far as I know, she's not kinky. This could backfire...
Turkish? Enjoy your remaining time with your cock, kid. ;)
Seriously though, go for it. What's the worst that can happen? You've got a passport, right? You can flee to the States.
FeatsofClay
10-10-2007, 07:42 AM
Well played, Anc. Taking that first, bold, incredibly exposing step is huge. From here it is all finding out.
Limper
10-10-2007, 08:02 AM
Good show man! Play it cool and see what happens.
Bagpuss
10-10-2007, 08:53 AM
Isn't Turkey where the men stab each other in the arse over the slightest insult?
EhtoZed
10-10-2007, 09:02 AM
Isn't Turkey where the men stab each other in the arse over the slightest insult?
No, that's Greece... oh wait, you said stab? Sorry, that's Turkey.
Ancalagon
10-10-2007, 09:20 AM
I probably shouldn't talk about Greece. Or Armenia for that matter.
She called back yesterday evening to confirm our date, but I had to reschedule due to a nasty cold.
Limper
10-10-2007, 09:29 AM
I probably shouldn't talk about Greece. Or Armenia for that matter.
She called back yesterday evening to confirm our date, but I had to reschedule due to a nasty cold.
I'd avoid Iraq and anything to do with Kurds as well.
EhtoZed
10-10-2007, 10:43 AM
I'd avoid Iraq and anything to do with Kurds as well.
Not to mention thanksgiving!
Thank you, I'll be here all week...
FeatsofClay
10-10-2007, 10:47 AM
I'd avoid Iraq and anything to do with Kurds as well.
What about whey?
Not to mention thanksgiving!
Thank you, I'll be here all week...
Maybe he'll eat some Turkey and dressage ?
Bagpuss
10-10-2007, 07:25 PM
No, that's Greece... oh wait, you said stab? Sorry, that's Turkey.
They do the other thing as well, having had to fight of the advances of a Turkish sailor once in the past.
Pigs in Space
10-10-2007, 08:21 PM
They do the other thing as well, having had to fight of the advances of a Turkish sailor once in the past.
That's hot!
:fap: :fap: :fap:
Freedom Canadian
10-10-2007, 08:25 PM
They do the other thing as well, having had to fight of the advances of a Turkish sailor once in the past.
Were you successful ?
Ergeheilalt
10-10-2007, 09:19 PM
They do the other thing as well, having had to fight of the advances of a Turkish sailor once in the past.
You're a right fucking bastard, you know that?
All these years, you've had the secret experience of fighting off the advances of a Turkish pirate and you didn't share it with Edena?
Cold man, fucking cold. :mad:
Edena_of_Neith
10-16-2007, 01:53 AM
Yeah, shame on you. Edena has a special spell for people like you ...
Brynja
10-16-2007, 06:53 AM
Good luck on your date Anc!
Ancalagon
10-17-2007, 12:03 AM
Good luck on your date Anc!
It's been re-scheduled again (wednesday now). Why? Because on Monday, she forgot.
:grey:
Freedom Canadian
10-17-2007, 12:12 AM
She's just an absent-minded genius Anc. It happens. :)
Lady Fury
10-17-2007, 10:26 AM
It's been re-scheduled again (wednesday now). Why? Because on Monday, she forgot.
:grey:
She forgot? How busy is this woman? Well hopefully she's worth it and the date goes as planned, that's if she doesn't forget again. :grey:
Send her a single flower with a reminder
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 02:01 PM
RUN, ANC, RUN! First she forgets the date, then she forgets to take the pill, then she forgets the baby in the bathtub and then you're visiting the bitch in PRISON! RUUUUUUUN!
Seriously, who forgets a date with a smokin' hot man? WHA? :what:
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:13 PM
Send her a single flower with a reminder
Do NOT follow this advice! Flowers are for after you fuck her brains out and not before.
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 02:15 PM
Do NOT follow this advice! Flowers are for after you fuck her brains out and not before.
And if the sex was utterly forgettable, send her dead flowers! See, flowers can say everything!
Do NOT follow this advice! Flowers are for after you fuck her brains out and not before.
You have no romance in your soul Sir !!!
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:22 PM
You have no romance in your soul Sir !!!
Its not a question of romance its a question of what works and what doesn't.
Flowers to soon sends out a vibe of creepy, desperate or both.
Its not a question of romance its a question of what works and what doesn't.
Flowers to soon sends out a vibe of creepy, desperate or both.
And Anc isn't semi creepy and/ or desperate ???
It's not like he's a TOTAL stranger.
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:26 PM
And if the sex was utterly forgettable, send her dead flowers! See, flowers can say everything!
If it was that forgettable I take her out to a nice place to eat. We order food and after we eat I spit in my palm and tell her she has been replaced. At this point you wait till she starts to say something (odds are it takes a bit for the shock to wear off) spill something across the table into her lap... when she storms off the bathroom you leave and she gets stuck with the bill.
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:27 PM
And Anc isn't semi creepy and/ or desperate ???
She'll see him that way if he were to follow your suggestion.
It's not like he's a TOTAL stranger.
He could have known her for years on end and flowers to soon would have the same result.
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 02:28 PM
If it was that forgettable I take her out to a nice place to eat. We order food and after we eat I spit in my palm and tell her she has been replaced. At this point you wait till she starts to say something (odds are it takes a bit for the shock to wear off) spill something across the table into her lap... when she storms off the bathroom you leave and she gets stuck with the bill.
:lol:
On a side note, your wife is most likely a saint.
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:31 PM
:lol:
On a side note, your wife is most likely a saint.
She knew the job was dangerous when she took it.
I took it to the people to decide, you non romantic heathen you :)
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 02:40 PM
She knew the job was dangerous when she took it.
:shock: She volunteered?
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:43 PM
:shock: She volunteered?
She was warned by everyone who knew me... and who didn't... by a few passing strangers on the streets and some dumbass sky writer.
Its not like I've ever been deceptive about who and what I am.
Rumor has it I mellowed over the years.
:shock: She volunteered?
She's either brave as hell or ready for the SEALS (3 time volunteer), she dated him, married him and has sex with him (:vomit:, just the thought... ) Anyway she should get a medal :medalofhonor: for the last.
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:46 PM
She's either brave as hell or ready for the SEALS (3 time volunteer), she dated him, married him and has sex with him (:vomit:, just the thought... ) Anyway she should get a medal :medalofhonor: for the last.
The stitches and staples left a nifty scar... thats kind of like a medal.
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 02:48 PM
The stitches and staples left a nifty scar... thats kind of like a medal.
When they said "chicks dig scars", that's not what they meant! BAD LIMPER!
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:51 PM
When they said "chicks dig scars", that's not what they meant! BAD LIMPER!
Are you sure?
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 02:53 PM
Are you sure?
Well... no.
:eyebrow:
Dammit, now I'm confused.
Limper
10-17-2007, 02:55 PM
Well... no.
:eyebrow:
Dammit, now I'm confused.
Good cause you had me worried there for a bit... I hate fixing things that aint broke.
EhtoZed
10-17-2007, 02:56 PM
It's been re-scheduled again (wednesday now). Why? Because on Monday, she forgot.
:grey:
Not the greatest of signs eh?
If it was that forgettable I take her out to a nice place to eat. We order food and after we eat I spit in my palm and tell her she has been replaced. At this point you wait till she starts to say something (odds are it takes a bit for the shock to wear off) spill something across the table into her lap... when she storms off the bathroom you leave and she gets stuck with the bill.
Or she pulls out a vib and tell you can be too.
Limper
10-17-2007, 03:09 PM
Or she pulls out a vib and tell you can be too.
Odds are if she was the sort of woman who carries sex toys in her purse everywhere she goes and would be willing to whip one out in a fine dining environment then odds are I wouldn't have found the sex forgettable.
Or you were the one with forgettable sex
Limper
10-17-2007, 03:22 PM
Or you were the one with forgettable sex
Nothing about me is forgettable least of all sex with me... hell the bruises and scars alone make that impossible.
O God :rolleyes:, I hope that when y'all get the new computer you let the better half gets on to here and deflate that ego Limp :)
Janos
10-17-2007, 03:35 PM
Nothing about me is forgettable least of all sex with me... hell the bruises and scars alone make that impossible.
Well if you wouldn't make the john tell you twice, you wouldn't get so beat up.
Limper
10-17-2007, 03:38 PM
Well if you wouldn't make the john tell you twice, you wouldn't get so beat up.
What do you tell your mom with her two black eyes?
Nothing I already told her twice.
Janos
10-17-2007, 05:02 PM
What do you tell your mom with her two black eyes?
Nothing I already told her twice.
Thankfully, based off the street hobos report, sex with you is much funnier than that joke.
Ancalagon
10-17-2007, 06:13 PM
:shock: She volunteered?
It might be some sort of karmic effect - punishment for bad deeds in a former life?
some dumbass sky writer.
There is a story here. Please share.
Not the greatest of signs eh?
No kidding. Strangely enough, it might make me a lot more attractive. I've gone from excited to hardly caring at this point, and it's a lot easier to be suave when you don't give a fuck.
Freedom Canadian
10-17-2007, 06:19 PM
It might be some sort of karmic effect - punishment for bad deeds in a former life?
Those would have to be pretty fucking bad. :what:
Ancalagon
10-17-2007, 08:34 PM
Well that was lame...
She just called to cancel the date - she thinks that the fact her father is my landlord could cause a lot of problems.
He IS selling the building, so I'm not very impressed by this gal's creativity. She did thank me because asking her out was flattering, and said that I should keep in touch.
Yeah. right.
Priss
10-17-2007, 08:47 PM
I don't get people who accept invitations they have no intention of attending. What, it suddenly occurred to her that that her father had control of the roof over your head? and you're right, that's not a good excuse at all.
If she wasn't going to go out with you she should have declined when you asked her. It's really not that hard to say thank you but no.
Grrrr people piss me off.
Ancalagon
10-17-2007, 09:45 PM
at least limper's not bored!
Atropine Mama
10-17-2007, 10:01 PM
Consider it a narrow escape, Anc. Who wants to date a stupid game-playin' bitch?
chick --> :flirt: :byewhore: <-- Anc
Bagpuss
10-18-2007, 04:30 AM
She just called to cancel the date - she thinks that the fact her father is my landlord could cause a lot of problems.
She's probably right, but more likely he's probably told her you are a waste of space or something like that.
strawberry
10-18-2007, 04:46 AM
Maybe she or her dad thought you were a dirty gypsy. At his old workplace, my husband worked with several Turkish people, and all one woman ever wanted to talk about was how awesome Turkey was compared to the US -- except for the dirty gypsies who made too much noise and "danced on the hills long into the night" (an actual exact quote). The funny thing is for the most part they really liked my husband and he actually is part dirty gypsy... err, Romany.
Before they leave find a hot gypsy girl to bring to the apartment
EhtoZed
10-19-2007, 03:27 PM
Before they leave find a hot gypsy girl to bring to the apartment
Or take a shit in a plastic bag and leave it under the sink. ;)
Space Cadet B^3
10-21-2007, 02:25 PM
It'd be funnier to leave an upper decker! ;)
Cat of Ulthar
10-26-2007, 09:50 PM
I don't know what Turkish girls are like where you live, but here most of them are of the "no sex before I marry a muslim guy"-kind, with an army of dads, uncles, brothers, cousins and nephews to enforce this... Better off not getting involved in all that. It may very well be that her dad told her she was not allowed to go out with a guy she was not expecting to marry.
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