About English

[Edena_of_Neith]

I read the history of English on Wikipedia (and the history of French also) and the differences between American English and British English.
I must say that it is a fascinating read.

We have the Celts in Great Britain. Then the Romans invade and take over.
The Romans speak a version of Latin. The people of Great Britain ignore them and speak their own language.
The Germanic tribes of the Angles, Saxtons, and Jutes invade and take over Great Britain. Their languages become dominant, then merge.
The Vikings invade Great Britain. The natives simply borrow a large amount of Norse and incorporate it into their own language.
The Normans invade Great Britain and conquer it. The natives, once more, borrow a vast number of words from the Normans, and incorporate them into their own language.
The Black Death devastates Great Britain. The survivors congregate in the southeast, simplify and merge their dialects (the Great Vowel Shift), and a new language - English - spreads out from London.
Finally, a game called Football evolves in a former British colony called America, and everyone decides to alter the English language to revolve around said game.

[Bagpuss]

You had me until the last bit what does American Football have to do with anything?

[Pigs in Space]

You had me until the last bit what does American Football have to do with anything?

Well, to dumb it down for the hillbillies, they decided to spell everything differently, and then invent the internet, to propagate the bastardization of the great mother tongue.

[Sobek]

I love languages and etymology. It's amazing shit.

[Pigs in Space]

Has anyone ever seen the adventure of english?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343228/

Best doco evar.

[Edena_of_Neith]

Football is an insidious, evil plot by America to convert the whole world to English, of course.
Canada is in on the plan, too. Except in their case, it's ice hockey.

When we are done, the whole world will be guzzling soda pop and Canadian beer, eating at McDonalds, and be sitting glued to the TV watching football (or ice hockey) and driving SUVs. (And using Continuous Tenses like these to describe their situation ...) You wait and see.

[The Winslow]

There were people in the British Isles before the Celts, too.

[Dacke]

Football is an insidious, evil plot by America to convert the whole world to English, of course.
Not a big sports fan, but around these parts American "football" is pretty much a non-issue. We prefer the real version by quite a large margin.

[Edena_of_Neith]

Here's one for you.

I couldn't care less = I do not care.
I could care less = I do not care.

Even though the two sentences literally mean the exact opposite, they both colloquially mean the same thing.

[Harry]

This is why inflection is so important, even in English. Or more precisely, tone.

[Edena_of_Neith]

Yes. And since inflection is harder to convey online, it means English is more difficult to understand online.

[Bagpuss]

Football is an insidious, evil plot by America to convert the whole world to English, of course.

Actually Empire was an obvious plot by the English to convert the whole world to English, and while the Empire has collapsed, the spread of the language to so many countries has virtually ensured it's dominance.

If by Football you mean American Football, then it is pretty much a none event outside the USA. Football on the other hand is a popular spot the world over, and if anything it is an insidious plot to spread the Spanish language to Merseyside.

[Priss]

Here's one for you.

I couldn't care less = I do not care.
I could care less = I do not care.

Even though the two sentences literally mean the exact opposite, they both colloquially mean the same thing.
That's because people are stupid and lazy. They couldn't be bothered to add the "n't" to the end of their word because in some cases, due to accent, they can't hear it. That sentence has become my third biggest pet peeve.

[Edena_of_Neith]

(humor)

Here is an infamous English conjugation.
The following is not from the dictionary. The following are all conjugations I have heard in conversation in day to day life.

To Shrink (to physically get smaller)

Present:

I shrink or I am shrinking or I am shrunk or I am shrunken
you shrink or you are shrinking or you are shrunk or you are shrunken
he shrinks or he is shrinking he is shrank or he is shrunk or he is shrunken
she shrinks or she is shrinking or she is shrank or she is shrunk or she is shrunken
we shrink or we are shrinking or we are shrank or we are shrunk or we are shrunken
you shrink or you are shrinking or you are shrank or you are shrunk or you are shrunken
they shrink or they are shrinking or they are shrank or they are shrunk or they are shrunken

Simple Past:

I shrinked or I shrank or I shrunk or I shrunked or I shranked
you shrinked or you shrank or you shrunk or you shrunked or you shranked
he shrinked or he shrank or he shrunk or he shrunked or he shranked
she shrinked or she shrank or she shrunk or she shrunked or she shranked
we shrinked or we shrank or we shrunk or we shrunked or we shranked
you shrinked or you shrank or you shrunk or you shrunked or you shranked
they shrinked or they shrank or they shrunk or they shrunked or they shranked

Imperfect:

I was shrinking or I was shrank or I was shranken or I was shrunk or I was shrunken or I am shrank or I am shranking or I am shrunk or I am shrunken
you were shrinking or you were shrank or you were shranken or you were shrunk or you were shrunken or you are shrank or you are shranken or you are shrunk or you are shrunken
he was shrinking or he was shrank or he was shranken or he was shrunk or he was shrunken or he is shrank or he is shranken or he is shrunk or he is shrunken
she was shrinking or she was shrank or she was shranken or she was shrunk or she was shrunken or she is shrank or she is shranken or she is shrunk or she is shrunken
we were shrinking or we were shrank or we were shranken or we were shrunk or we were shrunken or we are shrank or we are shranken or we are shrunk or we are shrunken
you were shrinking or you were shrank or you were shranken or you were shrunk or you were shrunken or you are shrank or you are shranken or you are shrunk or you are shrunken
they were shrinking or they were shrank or they were shranken or they were shrunk or they were shrunken or they are shrank or they are shranken or they are shrunk or they are shrunken

Present Perfect

I have shrank or I have shrunk or I have shrunken or I have shrinked or I have shranken
you have shrank or you have shrunk or you have shrunken or you have shrinked or you have shranken
he has shrank or he has shrunk or he has shrunken or he has shrinked or he has shranken
she has shrank or she has shrunk or she has shrunken or she has shrinked or she has shranken
we have shrank or we have shrunk or we have shrunken or we have shrinked or we have shranken
you have shrank or you have shrunk or you have shrunken or you have shrinked or you have shranken
they have shrank or they have shrunk or they have shrunken or they have shrinked or they have shranken

Simple Future:

I will shrink
you will shrink
he will shrink
she will shrink
we will shrink
you will shrink
they will shrink

Future Auxillary:

I will have shrank or I will have shrunk or I will have shrunken
You will have shrank or you will have shrunk or you will have shrunken
He will have shrank or he will have shrunk or he will have shrunken
We will have shrank or we will have shrunk or we will have shrunken
You will have shrank or you will have shrunk or you will have shrunken
They will have shrank or they will have shrunk or they will have shrunken

Conditional Present:

I would have shrinked or I would have shrank or I would have shranken or I would have shrunk or I would have shrunken
You would have shrinked or you would have shrank or you would have shranken or you would have shrunk or you would have shrunken
He would have shrinked or he would have have shrank or he would have shranken or he would have shrunk or he would have shrunken
We would have shrinked or we would have shrank or we would have shranken or we would have shrunk or we would have shrunken
You would have shrinked or you would have shrank or you would have shranken or you would have shrunk or you would have shrunken
They would have shrinked or they would have shrank or they would have shranken or they would have shrunk or they would have shrunken

Conditional Past

I would have been shrinked or I would have been shrunk or I would have been shrunken or I would have been shrank or I would have been shranken
You would have been shrinked or you would have been shrunk or you would have been shrunken or you would have been shrank or you would have been shranken
etc.

Conditional Continuous

I would have been shrinking
You would have been shrinking
He would have been shrinking
We would have been shrinking
You would have been shrinking
They would have been shrinking

PluPerfect

I had shrinked or I had shrank or I had shranken or I had shrunk or I had shrunken
You had shrinked or you had shrank or you had shranken or you had shrunk or you had shrunken
He had shrinked or he had shrank or he had shranken or he had shrunk or he had shrunken
We had shrinked or we had shrank or we had shranken or we had shrunk or we had shrunken
You had shrinked or you had shrank or you had shranken or you had shrunk or you had shrunken
They had shrinked or they had shrank or they had shranken or they had shrunk or they had shrunken

Additional conjugations include:

I be shrinking/shrank/shranken/shrunk/shrunken
I is shrinking/shrank/shranken/shrunk/shrunken
I ain't shrinking/shrank/shranken/shrunk/shrunken
I gonna shrink/shrinking/shrank/shranking/shrunk/shrunking
I get shrinking/shrank/shranking/shranken/shrunk/shrunk/shruken
I are shrinking/shranking/shrank/shrunk/shrunken
I been shrinking/shrank/shranken/shrunk/shrunken
I has been shrinked/shrank/shranked/shrinking/shranking/shrunk/shruken/shrunking
I dang shrink/shrinking/shrank/shranking/shrunk/shrunken
I dang done shrinked/shrank/shranked/shrunk/shruken/shrunked
One shrinks/shrank/shrunk/shranked/shrunked/shrinked
Many shrink/shrinked/shrank/shrunk/shranked/shrunked
People be shrinked/shranked/shrunked/shrunk/shrank/shrinking

[Edena_of_Neith]

I'm sure Beavis and Butthead (a jaw dropping show if ever there was one) could add to the conjugations of To Shrink.
If they can't, let Bill and Ted give it a try. :)

Beavis and Butthead underscore what I said about our irreverent attitude towards the English language ...