[Movie] 300

[Limper]

I picked up a copy and gave it a watch and was overall disappointed. I'm not sure why though... it just wasn't all that.

What were your thoughts on it?

[TiQuinn]

I think it looks real good on my 62 inch widescreen Hi-Def TV. :D

[Droid101]

Yeah, I think you're a little crazy. It's the shit.

Probably less the shit on a 22" TV, though.

[Limper]

I think it looks real good on my 62 inch widescreen Hi-Def TV. :D


Looking good and being good are two different things.

[Ancalagon]

I don't think it's supposed to be taken seriously at all - it's just a fun romp.

[TiQuinn]

Looking good and being good are two different things.

I thought it was good. The acting was decent, the story was good. Simple, yes, but it's just a classic story of few against many. The visuals were sometimes over the top, but it was all in the spirit of the movie.

And Lena Headey's hot.

[Dawnstar]

I can not wait to rent it because I have heard a lot of good things about it.

[Varaj]

I enjoyed it but would only put it in the good section and barely into good from neutral. So on a scale of -10 to 10 I would give it a 2 or so.
I was pleasantly surprised on how historically accurate it was.

[PWD]

It was made of win, topped with win sauce, with a nice side salad of win and a nice light winaigrette.

[Atropine Mama]

It was made of win, topped with win sauce, with a nice side salad of win and a nice light winaigrette.:rotfl:

This is truth. It's hot man doing manly things and naked manass and then naked womenbits and fighting and more fighting and great colors and costumes and more manly men and more fighting! Good god, man, what more do you want?

Plus, the relative historical accuracy was cool.

[Limper]

Did any of you pass history class?

[Varaj]

Did any of you pass history class?

Yup. It isn't a historical documentary but it is relatively accurate (relative to Hollywood.)

[Atropine Mama]

Did any of you pass history class?

Sister Mary Theresa said I passed by a finger! :D

[Limper]

Sister Mary Theresa said I passed by a finger! :D

So you had to sleep with a nun in order to pass?

[Limper]

Yup. It isn't a historical documentary but it is relatively accurate (relative to Hollywood.)

I'd say it close on a cultural level more than anything.

[Atropine Mama]

So you had to sleep with a nun in order to pass?

When you explain the joke it isn't funny anymore. :(

[Prorpger]

Persian ninjas is fail. I like history to much to get into 300.

[Droid101]

Persian ninjas is fail. I like history to much to get into 300.

I like history myself, but I still liked Gladiator, and I still like 300.

Get off your high horses.

[Varaj]

I'd say it close on a cultural level more than anything.

The biggest change is the number of troops on the Greek side.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae

[Prorpger]

I like history myself, but I still liked Gladiator, and I still like 300.

Get off your high horses.

The original Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (movie) was better (this is the moive/epic history that Gladiator is loosely based on). Less hack and slash more plot, drama and acting. It didn't have to hide behind the special effects.

The original 300 Spartans was a pile of dog feces. A poorly acting propaganda piece.

My thing is that history is so cool, so interesting and the facts of the Battle of Thermopley are so much more engaging when you don't add in the ninjas and trolls. The Spartans are rich culture that would be wonderful if portrayed truthfully with their warts instead of as these bastions of freedom.

I know that the movie was nothing more than entertainment and your supposed to turn your brain off for such things but in my view:

History > Fantasy

[PWD]

I love history too, and it can be plenty entertainment all on its own.

But sometimes a movie is just a movie and enjoyable for what it is. Bunched panties get in the way of many things that could be enjoyed. This is why I prefer thongs, metaphorically speaking.

[Droid101]

The original Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (movie) was better (this is the moive/epic history that Gladiator is loosely based on). Less hack and slash more plot, drama and acting. It didn't have to hide behind the special effects.

The original 300 Spartans was a pile of dog feces. A poorly acting propaganda piece.

My thing is that history is so cool, so interesting and the facts of the Battle of Thermopley are so much more engaging when you don't add in the ninjas and trolls. The Spartans are rich culture that would be wonderful if portrayed truthfully with their warts instead of as these bastions of freedom.

I know that the movie was nothing more than entertainment and your supposed to turn your brain off for such things but in my view:

History > Fantasy

So, your opinion is that you'd rather watch a documentary than a good fiction. Suit yourself.

[Atropine Mama]

NAKED MANASS and WOMANBITS

[Droid101]

NAKED MANASS and WOMANBITS

Yes dear, we know, we're trying to tell Pooperger that he's being uber-lame.

[Limper]

NAKED MANASS and WOMANBITS

Watch Caligula.

[Droid101]

Watch Caligula.

It helps if the nakedness is attractive and in High Definition.

[PWD]

It helps if the nakedness is attractive and in High Definition.

...and not Malcolm McDowell.

[Atropine Mama]

Yes dear, we know, we're trying to tell Pooperger that he's being uber-lame.

So am I. :razz:

Watch Caligula.

The only thing even remotely good about that movie was the end credits.

[Dark Jezter]

There's nothing I can say about 300 that Neill Crumpston hasn't said in this reveiw:
I just saw a movie that’ll give your eyes boners, make your balls scream and make you poop DVD copies of THE TRANSPORTER. It’s called 300. I don’t know what the title has to do with the movie, but they could’ve called it KITTENS MAKING CANDLES and it’d still rule.

It’s about these 300 Greek dudes who stomp the sugar-coated shit out of like a million other dudes. I have a feeling that a lot of high school sports coaches are going to show this film to their teams before they play. Also, gay dudes and divorced women are going to use screen captures for computer wallpaper.

The movie takes place about a million years ago, and it’s sort of like a prequel to SIN CITY. Except way less guns and cars but twice as much skull splitting. If you watch this movie and go into a Taco Bell, and say to the cashier, “I need some extra sauce packets” guess what? You’re getting twenty sauce packets because your face will punch him in the brain.

I can’t spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN’T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

TWO COOL THINGS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND ONE THING I DIDN’T LIKE:

COOL THING ONE:
HEAVY METAL DURING BATTLE SCENES

Who gives a shit if the music isn’t historically correct? LORD OF THE RINGS could’ve used some Journey. This movie has that chu-CHUNG kind of metal that you hear in your head when your shift supervisor at Wetzel’s Pretzel is telling you that you’ll have to stay for clean up and you wish you had a sock filled with quarters in your hand.

COOL THING TWO:
FOES, MINI-BOSSES AND A BIG BOSS

Basically, the Greek dudes are fighting these Persian dudes, but the director, who must have a dick made of three machine guns, does it all like a video game. The Greeks fight every death metal video from the last ten years. There’s wave after wave of giants, freaks, ninjas, mutants, wizards, and a hunchback who looks like he’s got Rosie O’Donnell on his back.

Would I have been happy if Dom DeLuise from HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART I had shown up? Maybe, but this movie more than makes up for that glaring oversight.

NOT SO GOOD THING:
DUDE NUDITY (“DUDE-ITY”)

These are Greek times, when there were a lot of naked women around. And there are some naked women in this film, but almost every naked woman scene has a muscular dude giving the screen an ass picnic. Dude-ity is something directors put in their movies so people will think they’re serious, I guess, and not just throwing in naked hotties.

Any directors reading this – IT’S OKAY TO JUST THROW IN NAKED HOTTIES.

Can’t someone make a movie about naked Amazons and call it PAUSE BUTTON?

My final analysis is 300 the most ass-ruling movie I’ve seen this year, and will probably be the King of 2007 unless someone makes a movie where a pair of sentient boobs fights a werewolf.

[Droid101]

There's nothing I can say about 300 that Neill Crumpston hasn't said in this reveiw:

I don't really know what else to say but this:

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

[Brynja]

I picked up a copy and gave it a watch and was overall disappointed. I'm not sure why though... it just wasn't all that.

What were your thoughts on it?

I lost them at the dire rhino

[Northcott]

It was made of win, topped with win sauce, with a nice side salad of win and a nice light winaigrette.

I would rep you for the unabashed manly truth, but sadly it would just be a wretched little grey box. I will rep you later. And Greyone will shudder.



I know that the movie was nothing more than entertainment and your supposed to turn your brain off for such things but in my view:

History > Fantasy


Alrighty. Let's suppose for a moment that you're raised in a culture where Joe Average doesn't travel more than about 2 miles from where he was born. The rare, adventurous noble and/or merchant might make it to the nearest big cities... places of perhaps a few thousand people, or in the tens of thousands if one of the great centres of civilization of the era... which might be as much as 50 miles away. The truly brave and/or privledged, who skim the seas and coastlines and actually see other nations, travel hundreds of miles, spend years abroad, are so rare as to almost be legends in their own lifetimes.

And then an army of a couple hundred thousand people drops on your ass with strange-looking people from a foreign land, with cloth dyed in colours that are probably alien to you, animals that you may have only heard about in the tall tales of sailors, weapons that look nothing like yours, garments, music, and customs that make them appear strange and alien. Add in a dash of fear and an overdose of adrenaline...

...and you think that, just maybe, this movie might be what things looked like for the Spartans of the day?


I loved the flick. It wasn't accurate for dry, historical facts... but it did manage to hold a deeper truth that rocked hard. I don't think it would have nearly the same impact on a TV screen. In the theatre, with the spectacle filling your senses, it feels more like you're immersed in the moment. Part of the bloody mess. Especially when you scream and make a ketchup pack explode over the shrieking people around you. It rocked my world in the theatre.

[EhtoZed]

The original Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (movie) was better (this is the moive/epic history that Gladiator is loosely based on). Less hack and slash more plot, drama and acting. It didn't have to hide behind the special effects.

The original 300 Spartans was a pile of dog feces. A poorly acting propaganda piece.

My thing is that history is so cool, so interesting and the facts of the Battle of Thermopley are so much more engaging when you don't add in the ninjas and trolls. The Spartans are rich culture that would be wonderful if portrayed truthfully with their warts instead of as these bastions of freedom.

I know that the movie was nothing more than entertainment and your supposed to turn your brain off for such things but in my view:

History > Fantasy
Capacity to enjoy fiction > stick stuck in your ass

I am a history buff, but this movie was based on a comic for fucks sake. It wasn't based on the Battle of Thermopylae, it was based on the legend of the Battle of Thermopylae. Hell, the whole conceit of the film is it's the one character telling a story about it to the troops from the Battle of Plataea. Fuck, if everything ever written had to be 'accurate' half the history books you probably wank over would have to be burned. Forget fiction.

Bah! It was a good movie, Gladiator was a good movie, Kingdom of Heaven was a good movie, King Arthur wasn't such a great movie. But only because they billed it as 'historically accurate'.

[Northcott]

Kingdom of Heaven was a good movie

Surprisingly so. Though I wish people would quit casting Orlando Bloom as a fucking pre-industrial metal-worker: swordsmith in Pirates of the Carribean, and blacksmith in Kingdom of Heaven. At the very least, I wish somebody would give the boy a sammich!

Next they'll cast him as Hercules, and I'll weep bitter, bitter tears.

King Arthur wasn't such a great movie. But only because they billed it as 'historically accurate'.

And also? Because it was pretty damned "B-movie" as far as fiction goes. Reminded me of Legends of the Fall -- solid premise, great potential, but somewhere along the line somebody fucked it up and it fell flat.

[TiQuinn]

Surprisingly so. Though I wish people would quit casting Orlando Bloom as a fucking pre-industrial metal-worker: swordsmith in Pirates of the Carribean, and blacksmith in Kingdom of Heaven. At the very least, I wish somebody would give the boy a sammich!

At the very least, I thought he did a good job acting-wise in Kingdom of Heaven.

[Northcott]

At the very least, I thought he did a good job acting-wise in Kingdom of Heaven.

I thought he did a passable job. It was a fairly stoic role, so it's not as if great range was required. No knocks against Bloom as an actor -- he's fine at what he does. And I'll give him props for trying to 'bulk up' for the role, though it didn't really show. It was like seeing PeeWee Herman cast as a heavyweight boxer -- it just didn't jive for me.

That's where I think Crowe excels. He's not a huge guy, but he can at least pull off a physical presence. Bloom always comes across as very delicate.

Now Liam Neeson -- that was a bit of inspired casting. They needed a short role to provide memorable presence in the form of a battered, aged, seasoned warrior, and he was perfect for it.

[EhtoZed]

At the very least, I thought he did a good job acting-wise in Kingdom of Heaven.
And it had Eva Green. Yum!

[Black Angel]

There's nothing I can say about 300 that Neill Crumpston hasn't said in this reveiw:

That review is all class. Loved it! However, I don't think his 'slightly bad point' is that much of a bad point, but maybe that's just me...

I really enjoyed 300, and I sure didn't go to see it looking for historical accuracy. The cinematography and structure of the scenes was really enjoyable for me.
:D

[Dr_Avalanche]

It was unadulterated fun. Who on earth watches a movie based on a Frank Miller comic expecting historical accuracy? Geez...

[Pigs in Space]

That review is all class. Loved it! However, I don't think his 'slightly bad point' is that much of a bad point, but maybe that's just me...

I really enjoyed 300, and I sure didn't go to see it looking for historical accuracy. The cinematography and structure of the scenes was really enjoyable for me.
:D

You're just saying that cos I have a penis made of 3 machine guns.

[keryn]

Any movie which introduces a new word into the American lexicon is at least memorable in my mind. I enjoyed 300...but I enjoyed the Dudity and Lena Headly is indeed hot. The movie itself was beautiful and well choreagraphed, but not quite up to all the hype. I still want to marry Gerard Butler though...

[shabois]

I thought it was fun and entertaining. I think it bodes well for the Watchmen movie that at least the tone and imagery will be excellent.

[SHARK]

Greetings!

URR-RAH!!!!:D

300 was fucking *AWESOME*!!!!!!

300 was just fucking great! Lots of macho, buffed fucking warriors fighting, killing, crushing the shit out of their enemies, chopping off heads, running enemies through with big fucking spears, oh yeah....just fucking great! This movie demands a good beer and a fine cigar while enjoying it.

Plus, there's cool, heroic lines, good acting, dramatic heroism at every step...all in glorious honour to the fucking heroism of the SPARTANS kicking the shit out of a million goddamned Persians!!!!

The movie is fucking FUN!!!!

I loved it!

Oh. and I am quite familiar with the whole historical accuracy, blah, blah, blah. I have degrees in Ancient and Medieval History, specializing in Ancient Greece and Rome. Turn that off, and just enjoy the fucking movie! I watch movies like this expecting fun, with low expectations for historical accuracy. When its there--cool. I love it. When it's not--oh well. That's ok. They are out to make a movie, not do a documentary for a university history class.:D

Semper Fidelis,

SHARK